Exposed..
 

I feel like when im not under my duvet cover, im exposed. I feel like im constantly being watched by the cameras, and i have nowhere to escape. I just dont feel right. I feel like everyone knows all my thoughts. I hate it.

I don't feel quite exactly the same, but very similar. I always feel exposed, and under negative scrutiny - as a result of my PTSD.
Does anything ease this feeling of exposure for you? How are you around people you know?

Honey, Im proud your online, its easier to hide, but right now your not, you dont give yourself enough credit for the good things you do.

I know this may seem weird but it helps me. The things in your room that make you feel safe? your duvet.. take it downstairs with you, and wrap it round you?

Sorry Im not much help, please keep talking to me, and text me anytime x

And you can also have a nice scarf/shawl/pashmina that you wear whilst out and about. You can wrap it around you.

I also have complex PTSD. Do you think thats that why im getting these feelings? Due to PTSD?
Around my family i feel safe, but yet at the same time im constantly paranoid that im being watched. I just hate people having access to my thoughts.
Thanks for the ideas, i will try carrying a blanket around my house with me to keep me comforted and safe, and i can hide under it if i get scared.

It could have some PTSD roots, at least.

What's your past experience of being watched, being under scrutiny?

What does scrutiny mean? *embarassed look*
And in the past i have been sent a text from a much older man than myself saying "i am watching you i know what you are wearing" which has stayed with me til this day. I just HATE being watched.

Like being watched and stared at and judged. [think bullies, teacher training supervisors, stuff like that..]

That text could really stir up lots of fear.

Yeah that has made me feel really frightened of anyone watching me. I feel like people are always staring at my face. i am scared there is something severely bad about my face, that i cant see but everyone else can. i am sure my face is burnt, thats why people stare at my face.

hey. i know how this feels too. it's really scary. i wish i had some advice for you but i don't, really. the only thing that helps me is antipsychotic meds which i read in this forum you're already taking, if i'm right. i sometimes think people are staring at my face because my forehead has turned transparent/into a whirlpool and everyone can see my thoughts. i also feel there are cameras all around me too. i too have psychosis as part of complex-PTSD.

maybe try what others have said, and also keep talking with your "team" and keep at it with those meds.

xxx

Thanks for your reply whirlpools. Its nice to know theres someone going through similar issues who experience the same as me, it makes me feel less alone. But i am sorry you're struggling too.
And yeah i will be with the Early Intervention Team for the next 3 years, so i shall see them quite a lot, which is good.

i'm really glad you're with Early Intervention. my local Early Intervention seems to only deal with schizophrenia and so i never got referred to them :( but i've seen leaflets from teams from other areas and it looks like most of them help with the whole range of psychosis. so it sounds like they have a lot to offer :)

Yeah i am pretty lucky to have found this team, because they are really helpful.

And im sorry they dont provide it for you where you are. They say if you catch it within the first 6months, it can prevent another relapse. Well thats what im hoping anyway.