Floating...
 

I just feel as though my feelings have been bunched up into a big lump that's floating around inside me as if my body is separate from my mind. Its like I'm trying to get hold of all these emotions so I can make sense of them but I can't get close enough even though I'm charging after myself trying to shake the feeling that I'm not actually feeling. I feel raw and numb and vulnerable, as though my defences are down when I can't cling onto my feelings and so it makes me anxious and funny. It's as though I'm not quite real and everything is too big and too loud and too bright and the 'outside' is sort of bearing down on me and getting too close. I keep randomly starting to cry for no reason but I can't do it properly because I'm so detached so it's a one way street because maybe crying would help. I don't know really...It's as if I'm not really allowing myself to feel properly because I'm scared of it, and I want to understand the way I'm feeling without being out of control or 'spaced out'. I don't know if its normal to feel like this and I don't know what I'm really looking for by posting, but it definitely doesn't feel right.

I know that feeling.
I just don't know a way around it.
This isn't a very helpful reply but, you're not alone with it.

x

I often feel like that when I find anxiety hard to handle. It's sort of like a protection, but doesn't really reach the spot.

You've made a really good start in being with your feelings by typing out what you have done here.

I can sort of relate to those feelings.

I was talking to a professional the other night and she gave me a coping mechanism to help me bring myself back to reality. It's sounds stupid but basically you touch things.

Touch the back of the sofa... that feels soft and smooth
Touch the window...thats cold

it does actually work so you can try that just to bring yourself back again.

Thanks for the replies. I've been feeling pretty much the same since I posted which wasn't so good as I had exams today, but I had a cool shower which helped a lot so I feel a bit more with it now. I'm seeing my psychologist on weds so do you think it would be a good idea to mention it then? I'm not completely sure what causes it for me but it could be a mixture of stress and anxiety.
Lea <3

Definately a good idea to mention it then.
Might be able to shed some light on it.
<3