scars/DBT group
 

So I'm working at my mom's clinic over the summer. One of the things I'm doing is helping out with some of the organizational stuff for a DBT group, and then sitting in on the group (and doing the homework and stuff, since that's the best way to learn how it all works). It's a group particularly for teens/young adults about dealing with self-destructive behaviors, so of course I expected there'd be stuff about cutting and stuff, and I was prepared for that.

Anyway, one of the girls in the group has a lot of scars on her arm, which for some reason I found triggering. IDK why - I'm generally fine with pictures with scars visible, and even pictures specifically of SI, but then when I see them in person it's triggering in a way. It's kind of like part of me wants my own arm to look like that again.

But I can't really talk to anyone about it until next week, cause my own therapy sessions are on Thursdays, just a couple hours before the group, and I don't really want to talk to the group leaders about it since I'm working there, and my mom is the director of the clinic and stuff. So I'll talk to my therapist next week, but that's a whole week away (or rather 8 hours less than a week, but close enough).

It's weird though, it's like I just want to tell someone about that experience, which is something I don't think I've really felt before. But I want to tell someone about it in person, not just write about it. I think mostly I really wanted for the therapists leading the group to know about my cutting, and I guess understand why that was kind of hard, but of course they can't know.

But on the bright side, at least I figured out what I was feeling instead of hurting myself or letting it just build up :-)

i know exactly what you mean. scars that you see have a trance like quality that works its magic on you. i wanted my arm to look worse and worse becuz i felt inadequate next to others whose arms were worse. it gets to you. DONT let this happen to you. it only ends up hurting you and is not worth it. i know from personal experience. i still feel that way and my arms are COVERED in scars. ive lost jobs over them and even friends. Dont let this happen to you. if you ever need anything at all, let me know k? just pm me and i will help in anyway possible.

What is it about scars that draws you into a particular mindset? What do scars mean to you? Understanding that can help you contain the thoughts and feelings, just like observe how you're feeling, and start to have some compassion for yourself.