need to
 

Sat here thinking about cutting... would still rather go down the piercing route for baby's sake, but God it's so tempting. I'm just feeling broke and stressed - just need to get away from things for a while. Rusty's feeling exactly the same so we're both on a low right now.

I can just imagine doing it though... it's in graphic detail in my head

*gives you and Rusty big big hugs and a little one for baby* Could the two of you do something together to distract yourselves? Like watch a random film or sort out baby stuff or take a hot bath together? I don't know but I do know that self harming won't make you any less broke or stressed and that tomorrow you will feel worse because you did it. Sorry just realised, that really wasn't much help lol but will post it anyway so you know I read and cared. You can get through this xxx

The logical bit of my brain agrees with you, but it's so hard, because the other side of my brian is imagining the release

<Massive hugs for all of you> Stay strong - it will pass.
xxx

*Hugs* I agree, keep strong, keep yourself distracted. xx

Been fine most of the day.

Crashing now.

could you try maybe drawing what you wanna do.... so draw your arm/wriist/leg whatever on a piece of paper and use a red pen and do what you wanna do to your drawing?? not quite the same
or/
someone of another post was saying she wrote on herself with things like love etc adn made her stop, mayb you could write something about your baby on your arm(wherever you want) so that you wont be able to hurt yourslef cos it would be like hurting your baby which you dont want to do...maybe that would make the non sensible part of brain to rationalise you dont need to do it.

pamper yourself and make yourself feel special xxx

Weird idea but it might help; one of those little kids temporary tattoos. Also just playing with pens as was suggested, or even makeup crayons.

Be good to yourself, not just for your baby, but for you.

sorry you are being treated that way *hugs*. It isnt fair. It would have been nice foir yiour hubby to be to have taken your side *hugs some more).
Maybe hormones are kicking in and making you lower? Anyway possibly you two could get away? Even for a night? Or else, turn the phone off, turn the TV off Cept for...umm..'movies'...and just enjoy your coming miracle and each other again. You need time just for you both.
Pls dont cut, you knoew it will soleve nothing and just be a hassle to care for , not too mention the chance of infection and the lil one...

Keep writing here. get it out hun in a safe way. we will listen *hugs*
*leaves a box of more for when needed*)
love ya
romp

I hope you're feeling a bit better today. Take care hun

Bought some strei-strips and tape just in case, cos had run out, but am trying really hard not to.

Have been quite anxious/panicky again lately, so talked to Rusty and I may go to see the doctor about having meds increased. I'm only on the starting dose of the more 'baby-safe' anti-depressant I've changed to, so there's room for manouevre

I'm glad you're going to talk to the doctor, that will be better for you and the baby. Sorry you're feeling low enough to want to SI. My PM box is always open if you need to talk. Take care hun