talkin to my brother....
 

my brother wants to talk to me about what happened in our past, he used to abuse me. He wants to talk to me about it because he feels guilty for what happened. Before he brought it up, I was all sayin how I was ready to talk to him and get it out, ya know? Well, when it actually came up...I realized I wasn't ready. I'm not sure if I'm ready yet, but I also feel like I should. But I don't, because I don't want all the memories to come back. I'm afraid to talk bout it, but I also want to move on....I'm not sure what to do...any suggestions?

I think you should give it a try, you'll probably never be ready for a conversation like that and no matter how long you wait you'll always feel nervous and scared when the time gets near but if you use that as an excuse to not talk to him you might actually regret it later, maybe this is your only chance at talking with him about it, you never know, he might change his mind in the future and never bring it up again. If it goes bad then at least you won't think back and say "what if...?" and you'd have gotten that out of the way.

Obviously this is your choice, if you think it will only hurt you then don't do it...but I think it may be worth a shot, also could you talk to someone you know and trust about this? So they can tell you what they think as well, someone who knows your brother as well (if possible) and who you could talk to afterwards about how it went and how you feel, just to cover all bases. If you see a therapist then it would be wise to tell them about this as well.
Good luck with whatever you decide.

well I've talked to a couple people about this, and everyone is tellin me to do it, but I don't think they see it from my point of view...But I have also talked to my mom about it, and she pretty much said that if I'm not ready don't do it, but the thing is I don't know if I"ll ever be ready to know why he did it ya know? My biggest fear, other than the memories, is that I won't be able to handle it and I'll start cuttin again...which I don't want...

Whoops, double post.

This is something that no one should try and rush you into. You'll know when you're ready. I've experienced some abuse, and personally can't imagine talking with the person I suffered it from. You're very brave to even consider it. Take your time. Do whatever you're comfortable with, whatever you feel safe doing. Things will work themselves out in time. This situation should really be about you and how you feel, and if you think it'll help to talk with him about it, then go for it. Don't let someone else make your decision because they'd feel more comfortable if you did.

*hugs* good luck.

Your mom is right, if you're not ready then you shouldn't.
But you're also right, you'll probably never be ready for it. I really can't say how well or wrong it will go for you because I don't know the situation or your brother and what might happen if you talked to him. You know yourself better than anyone so if you feel you're not ready then don't do it. I think it could be good only if you have a strong support system and are not alone in this. You need help with this otherwise you won't be ale to deal with it.

thanks...

another thing that bothers me about the who situation is...the way he makes it sound, he wants to only talk about it because he feels guilty, for he won't feel guilty for it anymore. Like he just wants to make himself feel better, and doesn't have any concideration for how I feel about it, ya know?

Thanks :)