So I've completed my failuer and at the moment..........
 

I feel like I want more blood, I shall try to accept this one. I wanted to chop through the muscle I hope I have. I want to punish myself as much as I can to feel good about it

You aren't a faileur.
You are in pain, and just because it's emotional, don't mean it's not important. What is making you feel so bad today? Are you able to talk about it?
Hope you are feeling better<3

Well today has arrived and now I have an appointment with my GP who stitched me up on Monday, I hope that she is not too annoyed with me.

I shall dispose of my blades somewhere I cannot get them back. I could do with being locked away so I had absolutely no opportunity of cutting

You'd be taking a really positive step by getting rid of your blades, you're doing very well. Why do you feel that you want to punish yourself? Is it what you really want? I hope that it goes well with your doctor, please try to let them know of the pain that you are going through. Take care and get in touch any time. xxx

Well I've ditched the blades in a public bin to make sure I don't get them back.

My GP now thinks I'm doing it just to see her. Well I hope not to be doing it at all in future and give my arms a break. Ironically I'm a pain wimp and being stitched leaves me in a lot of unwanted pain.

Hiya,

*cuddles* Well done on getting rid of the blades - stock yourself up on elastic bands if you find them useful for when you get urges. What do you think triggered you to feel like this lately? Take care,

xx