my first poem
 

So I'm in a poetry class right now and this is my first try writing my own poem. It might be kind of a downer but it was a good way to express a bad situation I'm in. Enjoy :blush:

He It She

She always comes second;
Her clothes never match.
She has trouble breathing because
Her chest is so tight.

He always comes first;
His smile matches it.
He won the prize first and
His needs are always met.

She always has a smile on, but
her bitterness sometimes pushes through.
She knows it's no secret, so
her head hangs low in shame.

It doesn't see her eyes.
It avoids confrontation.
It doesn't acknowledge her kindness, and
It has remorse when he is not present.

she always comes last.
her clothes never match.
she takes danger by the horns, so
her wrists and thighs do.

oooh wow that was so good!!

For your first poem, that is really good. You've got a talent there, I'd say definitely keep working at it!

Oh yes for sure, definitely keep working at it, I look forward to reading more stuff!

Stunning *_*

I hope you keep on writing !

The idea of the poem is very strong & amazing xxx

thanks everyone!!! i needed the feedback. anyone care to analyze it? it's kind of a new hobby of mine and i would love to see how people relate to it. thanks again everyone!