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It's been one month, one week and three days since I last cut or burned. But recently I"ve been "burning" with ice and another sbustance. The thing is though that I think it's just as bad as cutting or heat burning. I don't think I should continue to have the thing in my signature. My friend is really, not exactly disappointed, but sad.
I HATE THIS!

I don't know what to think anymore

Hey there,

Going this long without cutting or burning is brilliant - you should be really pleased with yourself! *cuddles* Some people have been known to burn themselves with ice or something else, which is why the ice cube method of alternative can be difficult for some. The fact you've managed to go so long without cutting is excellent - so can you think of the kinds of distractions that work for you already and maybe use them when you want to use these other forms of SI? What's made you feel low like this, do you think?

Sometimes our friends and loved ones can upset us simply by loving us - meaning they care so much they feel almost as bad as we do when we're driven to using SI to help. They can feel as though they've let us down, it's their fault in some way, etc. So maybe you could have a chat with your friend or write them a letter to explain how you're feeling and that it's not their fault? I hope you are feeling better soon, love. Take care,

xx

I'm sorry I'm posting so much. I just really can't cope recently.

I can't feel happy about not cutting for so long. Because I stopped I've ODed and now started something else! Whenever I try to do something positive, bad stuff happens because of it. I'll try to help someone else with their problems and cause myself more. I try to reach out for help and just end up hurting others.
I hate how much I'm hurting my friend. I hate how I can't keep things from her to protect her. I want to get better for her, but I just can't do it.
Nothing is going good anymore. I can't do skills at gymnastics that I've been able to do for so long. I can't focus on my homework. I have exams soon and I'm worried. I've only been at my school for a month. My science exam is on everything they learned throughout the semester. It's an essential class though and I used to be in academic. So at least most of it I already know.
I want to hurt myself so badly but I know I can't and I hate it.
I'm going to go run or something. I need to get my mind off of all this.

Don't feel bad about posting, sweetie :) You have to concentrate on recovering/getting better for you. Reaching out for help doesn't hurt others - but it can be tricky to begin with if you have to dig up buried feelings/traumas to find and solve the root of your SI. You have done brilliantly posting this because now we can try to help you :) Are you getting any proffessional help at all? I hope you enjoyed your run, keep yourself distracted.

xx

please dont feel bad about it. you have gone so long and i am proud of you and you should be proud of yourself. dont give up hope.
i actually did the same thing with ice too...
but if you ever need me please PM me.
xxxx
ash