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Everything is a reminder.
I don't know if everybody else is this way or not, but I have a big problem with everything around me being a reminder of cutting. Everywhere I turn I see something I have or could cut with. Every conversation has a word that reminds me of cutting. Even things that are every-day words/objects or words/objects that in the context have nothing to do with cutting turn into triggers. :sad: Hearing, "Lets cut class!" or "Cut it out!" "You could cut the tension with a butter knife." etc. immediately bring the image of a razor on my wrist to my mind. Most people have no clue, but I can't say anything, and even if I could, it's not like I can stop people from saying anything that could possibly be associated with cutting. Does/has anybody else feel/felt this way? If so, how do/did you deal with it? Any suggestions are definitely welcome!
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I know exactly what you mean, particually with every day objects, i always try and turn them into SI tools and wonder what sort of damage i could do with it....and these are with the most simple everyday items. Im not quite over this so im not sure how to deal with it, but things that have helped is use the item in the way its suppose to be used (which was suggested to someone in another thread) so when i next see it its like "fork, yes, i use that to eat", sounds really silly and simple but it did help
*big hugs* |
I can hear you! I've told my close firends to watch what they say/what they have when they're around me, but as for the general public I'm still pretty shakey. Usually I do the affirmation-type stuff broken_up_inside was talking about to dissociate the item/phrase from SI/SH. Or I rub my worry stone, it tends to calm me down a bit.
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Thats the problem with that word, it can be used for so many things. (damn english language)
I've been in that situation too. At my school, people are really dumb about SI. They make fun of it, drawing on their arms and running around screaming "I'M EMO!!!! IM GONNA GO KILL MYSELF!" and they all think its funny. I've seen that atleast twice in the last school year. Then, whatever I see them carrying, using, wearing, etc, gets drilled into my memory. Red pen, sharp objects, even a tshirt. but the feeling of seeing something that no one else would think twice about... and having it become a trigger... it sucks. Bad part is we can't change the world. Hm it looks like i've gone a bit off topic. My apologies. Anyway... as it was mentioned above, try desensitizing yourself. In a save enviornment, away from sharp things, perhaps with your friends... Gently expose yourself to it. Then remove or leave the trigger, to regroup. Eventually, it won't seem as big of a deal. I hope this makes sense... sorry if it doesnt! Take care |
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