Meh.
 

I didn't think I'd make a thread here anytime soon. It's not usually my thing, to put my thoughts on display like this, but meh.. this is the worst I've felt for a while.

I hate feeling lonely. Probably for no reason either. Part of me knows there are a few people who care. Not nearby, but they're there, and I should be grateful, right? But I feel let down and needy and I hate myself for it. Like I'm the worst attention seeker ever, no matter if I let it show or not.

Actually I have no idea why I'm posting. I just don't feel safe. Earlier I freaked out when I realized my arm really has next to no skin left, that I'm cutting over scars over scars.. it feels so pathetic. I miss the feeling of ruining something new, nothing else feels quite the same. Tonight cutting is the distraction, the alternative seems worse and I just don't know.. I'm rambling.

Sorry. Being a bundle of self-hate and not much else is wearing me out.

*hugs* you're not an attention seeker hun. Everyone needs people, its human nature to need people, to need not to be lonely. But try and look around you, there are people there, mayb its just hard for them to get close to you, mayb try talkin to them n tellin them you feel alone. and remember ryl is always here, and i'm always here, you can pm me anytime u want.

try and fight this hun, dont let urself fall, ur stronger than this, you know you are. You're better than this, we all know you are. Fight baby just fight.

pm me anytime

*cuddles* Honey, it's completely ok to need people- everyone needs support! Try finding something besides cutting to distract you- like the F&D forum or the arcade, or anything else that could keep your mind off of things. You sound exhausted from fighting this- i know how tiring that is. *hugs* You can keep fighting. You are incredibly strong to have gotten this far, and you can keep going! My PM box is always open.

Hey,

Sometimes it can be difficult to get your thoughts out, I'm glad you made this post and had a shot at it. It's important to be able to indentify what you're feeling or going through, and being able to write it out can be really helpful and give a feeling of release sometimes.

I know how you feel, I've been lonely too lately. But you needent feel like an attention seeker for it - it's perfectly natural for a human to need some support & attention, especially when you're feeling so low about yourself. Maybe you could call some people and have a chat, or add some members to msn [or use RYL chat when it gets up] and just remind yourself that even though you feel alone, you're really not. And we're all here for you.

It's unfortuante that you don't feel safe, is there anything you could do to change that? Maybe ug a pet or teddy bear or do something that you enjoy, even just to give yourself a moment of safety. It might be something as small as a physical thing such as wrapping yourself in a blanket or havinga nice warm drink - any little thing helps.

Maybe you could destroy something new. I can understan why you'd be craving that, what if you had a piece of paper and you wrote angry lyrics or your throught n there, scribbled hard or even just crunched it up - just give yourself a sense of that relief. May be you could play some games in the arcade to take your mind of cutting - cutting is not really a suitable distraction, ty and do something to avoid it, yea? Remember we're here for you.

It can be really tiring and draining when you have such overwhelming feelings of self hate and what appears, not much else. But I can see some strength in you because you posted, and some wisdom inthe way you worded it and understood some of what you're going through, so there is a bit more to you than the overpowering self hate.

Take some time out for yourself and try and do something you enoy, I mentioned the arcade, it gives you the chance to detach your mind a bit which will hopefully provide you a bit of relief, or have a nap or a nice warm bath. Look after yourself - you're worth it.

*squishes*
Best Wishes,
Aimee xo

Thanks for your kind replies. Considering I didn't even know what I was asking for (and am still not sure, tbh), I appreciate them.

Trust me, I've been through enough distractions lately. Thanks for the suggestions - I know cutting as a distraction is rather morbid, but when it's either that or something more permanent, I know what I'll do.

I'll live and stuff. Thanks all the same.