Selfish Stresshead
 

i dont know whats wrong with me last week i was in tears for 4 hours cos i saw a spider in the bathroom and it took me about 3 days to be able to go in there again without completly freaking out. Today we had a right stressful day. Me my boyfriend and his best mate went to west midlands safari park. My b/f only passed his tesr in april and it was his first time on the motorway. It all went well until comming off the motorway in kidderminster the car started gushing steam (i was convinced it was smoke and freaked out). turned out a pipe for the coolent had burst. apprently it was easily fixed but cos we didnt have the tools had to call out a breakdown van. 2hrs and £80 later we went to the safari park.
I could not stop shaking about the whole incident and im still wound up now at 8pm (this happened at midday) All i could think about is SIing myself. I really put a downer on the day by battiling secertly with myself. They both new i wasnt right but thought i was just in a bad mood. Now we are finally home and i cant get away my B/F and his mate are here. I just want to be by my self. How are these silly little incidents messing with me so much i never used to painc like this. I know what happened to the car was noones fault but i know i will freak out when i go in it next and that will knock my boyfriends confidence and he really doesnt need or deserve stress from me. I feel like im goona explode im scared if i carry on bottling up i will hurt myself either mentally (more so) or physically. I dont know what to do im so tired

Heys,

You're not selfish at all, love! It's not surprising you were shaken by the incident in the car - I think anybody would be. And I hate spiders! *cuddles* Try breathing/relaxation techniques when you get panicky - and keep distracting yourself during urges. I hope you are feeling a little better now :)

xx

*hugs*
I'm like that sometimes just the littlist things would set me off. But theres really a bigger picture thats just a small thing that creates another problem and they add up.
I remember once i was so low i was using a pen and then i put it down somewhere and lost it and i ended up in a right state cying my eyes out over a pen i felt so pathetic but really it wasnt about the pen it was about the stress i was going though in my life and that just added to it.