*trigger* Can feel myself falling apart!
 

As everyday goes by i can feel myself falling apart, i can feel my family and friends drifting slowly further and further away from me. I can feel myself pushing them away. Maybe I don't want to hurt them when I do eventually fall apart. I'm scared to be on my own because I don't know what I am capable of when i am on my own. I could do anything, I don't think I would be able to stop myself. I feel awful, I just want to curl up i n a ball, an sleep, sleep forever, so that i will not have to feel these emotions anymore.

I want to get out of my head, i wanna get away, i want to start again and not have to got through the same routine everyday, I can't get away, help me get out.

Sorry about that it was a bit of a rant.

x x x x x

Hey,

I can really relate to this right now so I'm sorry if I'm not much support to you.

Is there anyone you can talk to, perhaps outside of your immediate friends and family? Just anyone that will give you space to talk about your problems and about everything that's going on without having to worry about how they are going to feel if you do fall apart - there are people trained to deal with how you are feeling & you can feel safe with them. I don't know if you already have support in place but if not then please consider getting outside help.

If you ever want to chat then you can add me to MSN or PM me, I'm happy to listen or just chat if that is what you want to do.

(((Huggles)))

Lotti
xxx

Sweetheart i'm really sorry to hear that you're going through a rough time. Regarding your family and friends. Don't you think that thwy would rather know what you are going through, so that they can help you through this, rather them not knowing, or findind out that you've been going through this all on your own? I'm sure they would want to help sweetie.
What scares you about people getting close? Why do you feel like you have to push them away?
People are here for you sweetheart. Us here are all here for you. Anytime. All's you've got to do is let us in and we will help all we can.
Take care of yourself missus.
If you ever need anything then don't hesitate to contact me.
Take care of yourself m'darlin'
Chloe. xx

Im sorry you're going through such a rough time.
Is there anyway you could talk to any of your friends and family? or just spend some time with them, and make a consious effort to not push them away?
Perhaps come up with some reasons to keep going, if you're having to push friends and family away, they must care, any hobbies you have?
and if you dont have any hobbies, perhaps you could fine one? learn to play a musical instrument? [sp?] or learn to play a sport, or just do something like go for walks when you're finding things really hard.

Have you spoken to a doctor or anything? Perhaps its an idea - sorry if this is irrelevant/not an option/ you already have. - just a thought.

feel free to rant as much as you want. dont forget about the ranting forum where you can rant and rant forever if you just wanna get things off your chest, but obv post here too if you need to :)
I hope things pick up soon, and pm if you want to talk anytime.x

Hey darl,

It must be hard when you can feel like people are drifting away from you, but also when you can feel you're pushing them away. Maybe it would be a good idea for you to try really hard and reach out to these people - even if it's only in a small manner and ask for a hug, or tell them you've had a bad day or you're feeling stressed - just so you can get some sort of response, and some sort of validation that people are still there for you and you can turn to them when you need to, and when you feel ready (even though it can be difficult).

Especially if you can identify that you're unsafe and you don't want to be alone, you need to do all you can to keep yourself safe. If you don't feel up to being with people, you could try and socialise around here, play some Arcade games or even verse other people to keep yourself distracted. You could also check out The BIG Distraction Page! and do something from there.

If you can think of anythin you enjoy, try and do that for a bit now. You need to focus on your needs and look after yourself, you're obviously needing some support but it sounds like you need some time out to, is there anything you can do to relieve some of the stress around you?

I hope you're alright & are able to be a bit gentle with yourself, it sounds like what you're going through is hard, but we're all here for you.

Best Wishes
Aimee xo

hey......hey u....yeah u...the person that started this thread.....yeah..im talkin to u....look, times are rough, life was never said to be easy. i understand u just wanna get out of this situation and just live a different life other than the one ur living now. trust me, not even one's with perfect lives have a perfect life.....sound confusing? yeah i confuse myself sometimes...

anty ways, what did i tell u? you're NOT alone..u may THINK u're alone, but ur not. there's always someone there w/ u whether u know it or not...in spirit or in person. i think what ur doing is building a wall between reality and ur own head. ur building this wall cuz u feel like u cant handle whatever ur feeling right now, so u push everyone away in order to try and become sane in your head. well.....i dunno, i do the same thing. but the only thing u can do is just keep hanging on to life. if u havent killed urself by now, then that means u actually want to live even though u dont know it, and it shows that ur strong as well. i know its in u to be strong. u can still get support from who ever and where ever u need it, but i think in this situation the only person who can help u is u, cuz ur the only person who can understand what it is ur going thru.......did that make sense? probably not...oh well, i tried my best:-D