Depression is kicking my a**
 

I feel so surreal... that nothing around me feels real... I feel like I am in a glass room watching the world pass me by... sounds are muffled... nothing feels real... I feel like a zombie just going through the motions of life. (does that make sense?)

I can't cry... no tears left to cry... can't scream... can't let it out... I feel so numb :crying: but at the same time my mind is racing... WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!

Goddess help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel so alone...

*Bound by Thoughts is shutting up now before she is more of a burden to people who may read this* :cry:

*huggles lots* you're not a burden sweetheart. we're here to help so you dont need to shut up about how you're feeling and i think there are a fair number of people who know how you feel so you are far from alone. i definitely know how you feel. you basically described what my whole year was like last year and i know its hard to get through but you can.
is there anyone you can talk to about how you feel? a psyc or consellor perhaps? it can be hard but it can also help quite a bit. and talking to someone would be the first step to recovering (after admitting you need help).
of course if you feel you cant talk to a psyc, theres always all of us here at RYL. *cuddles*
please take care, you can get through this.

soph.

No... if I talk to them, I'm afraid they will have me hospitalized.

being hospitalised is usually the worst case senario, usually you'l get psychotherapy and possibly medication. though hospital can help, they usually wont put you in straight away and not without quite a bit of consideration to other options.

Knowing my luck they would

Hun, believe me, it takes a lot to be hospitalized. I wound up in the ER for stitches for a cut on my wrist that was spurting... Six days after a guy from the county came to my counseling session (which lasted 3 1/2 hours instead of the regular 50 mins) to decide whether or not I should be in hospital... And they didn't even keep me over night! The doc had to tie off a vein for heaven sake!!
So I wouldn't worry too much. It really is a last ditch effort. They try everything else before they resort to that.

*massive snuggles*

Take care luv

seriously, you probably wont be put into hosp and you usually get a say in the matter too. you need to talk to someone about this though. you dont want it taking over your life. its a whole lot better to get a hold of it now than wait until its taken over your whole life. get some help. you seriously dont want to feel like this for the rest of your life, do you?

soph.

I've been dealing with it since I was like 12, so *sigh* in a way, if feels like it has already taken over my life.

if you've been trying to deal with it for so long, and no offence but i dont think its working, then isnt it about time you tried something else? even if you dont get counselling in person what about online counselling? that way you could also ask whether you would be put into hosp and if the person says no then you could go and see someone in person. it worth a try isnt it?