Should I say goodbye?
 

Not to life, to my dad.

Brief history: my dad sodded off before I was born, never wanted to know me, failed to make child maintenance payments and had to be taken to court, then when I'm 16 he writes and says hey, I'd like to get to know you.

At the time I was being abused by my step dad so I was excited at the thought of my real dad rescuing me, so we started writing and when I was 21 we finally met. We started meeting up every now and then to get to know each other, and then he suddenly decided to move to Wales :ermm:

We try to keep in contact but he barely ever makes the effort to visit me when he's down this way, and he rarely calls. After a while I decide I'm quite angry about his treatment of me and I tell him I want to sever contact for a while. He makes no effort to contact me whatsoever for a year. Finally I call him because I feel I need to say my piece, so I tell him he's been rubbish and he says he knows and regrets it, and that he'll come and see me in April for dinner.

March, April and now May is passing and no word from him at all :-(

I feel like I've had my fill of his laziness, and while I have decided not to bother calling him again, should I send him a letter telling him so, making it all final? I feel so angry and let down. But then, its hard to officially say goodbye to someone you always hoped would step up and be there for you.

hey hun
no one can make this decision but you unfortunately. it depends on whether you think fighting for a relationship with your dad is more painful than giving up on one.
sorry you've been treated so crappy by hum
good kuck with whatever you decide
*hugs*

Like green eyes said, you are the only one who can decide this. If you say goodbye now, you may regret it, but if you don't it may jus get harder. I think it is so good of you to atleast be trying, but there is only so much anyone can take.
My dad left when I was 7, I didn't know what happend, and still don't. But we got back in contact a few years ago, and after a lot of me being scarede, we know e-mail on a regular basis. I don't expect him to be a dad to me, because he wasn't there for the majority of my life.
I personally don't think that you should try and make a father-daugter relationship, as the chances of that happeneing sucessfuly are minimal, if you decide you do want to know him, then try and make it into a form or friendship, you don'[t have to be speaking regularly, just try and sort it so that he will even call every so often. He deicded he wanted to get to know you, so it isn't that.
X.

It really is up to you, is there a possibility of talking this out to him and see what happens, alternatively maybe you may settle with little but regular contact.
I know what its like to still want love from a parent but have to stop expecting them to be something theve never been.
from my own experience my mum dumped me as a baby and rarely bothered with me as a child, I decided 8 years ago to never see her again because the relationship was too damaging and doing me more mental harm than good, it was the best decision i could have made for myself because she would only hurt me and let me down time and time again, just because she gave birth to me it doesnt mean shes my mother or i have to suffer any more from her. your situation might not need be so extreme but i dont know all the ins and outs of whats happened.

take care