My Dad is terminally ill.
 

Hi I know I posted earlier this month asking for some advice on coping when a parent has cancer. Well we found out on Thursday that it is terminal.

I just can't deal with it. This is my Dad we're talking about MY DAD. He's the best, most amazing man in the world, and I love him so much. He and my Mum are still so much in love, I cry worrying about them being seperated. I cry all the time thinking he wont be there in the future, he wont walk me down the ailse, he wont be around when I have kids (and he would just be the most awesome grandad.), all my future plans have my Mum and Dad in the background because we are such a close family, no matter what has happened in my life my Dad, Mum and my Sister have always been there. And now this horrible thing is going to take my Dad away. It's not fair, I don't understand why this is happening. My Dad deserves to live. Worse still he will be so ill once they start to give him chemo to prolong how long he has left.

I came home on Thursday and I ran to the bathroom and I just screamed. I was uncontrollable. My boyfriend Glenn was so worried he burst through the door to get to me. He sat sobbing and holding me as I screamed and cried.

My world has just collapsed from under me and I can't deal with this. Can anyone please, please, please tell me how I deal with this, and how I can help my Dad and my Mum and Sister. Please. I'm so scared.

I'm really sorry that I don't have any constructive advice to help you get through this. Keep letting it out sweety, that's all I can say, don't let yourself keep it inside. I know that your world has collapsed now, but it can be rebuilt in time, however impossible that may seem at the moment. No two people cope with something like this in the same way, so don't compare the way you find with it to other people's and feel like you're doing it wrong, because you aren't. **hugs**

I'm so sorry
Please take care
xx

i am so sorry love.
i no you can make the time he has left the best for him, and i belive that you will get through this.
take care.
xxxxx

Thank you all so much for your kind replies. Your support means so much. I just wish I could wake up and this all be a nightmare. But I know that wont happen. I'm going to have to learn to cope.

I'm so sorry that this is happening to you, and I wish you all the love and support that I can give. *hugs*
xxx

*many hugs*

I'm so sorry, Sweetie.
I know what it's like to lose someone close to you, and I guess it might not seem real until it strikes so close to home.

I know this may come across as horribly insensitive and way too soon to be thinking about, I honestly don't mean it like that. It's just that when my Grandad died of cancer, we made videos of him so that we could show him to me and my sister's children, if that made sense. I was just wondering if you could do that?

Many Hugs

I'm really sorry to hear that hun... I know nothing we can say would make it better, but I hope you know that you can come here if you ever just want a chat or to vent

*Big hugs*

xxxxxxx

I'm so sorry hunny.

Awww hunni I'm so sorry -hugs-
don't keep it all inside though, you need to make sure you let it out
take care hunni
-hugs again-
x

First of all, I'm so sorry to hear this, and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

My first love died of terminal cancer. The way we dealt with it was trying to make as many happy memories as possible, even though it's hard. I like Olivia's idea of making films. Me and him used to spend alot of time together, going out into Cambridge city, walking around, sitting under trees getting all back to nature and talking about everything, happy things, sad things, the past, the future- if you have a worry you'd like to express, don't hold it back, but equally don't spend the whole time dwelling on it. We went out alot during that time, just doing everything that made us happy together. You just have to try to celebrate what's left, even though it's the last thing you may feel like doing.

I know your first love and your Dad are 2 totally different people, but I hope you see where I'm coming from, that the principle is the same- it's someone close who you love very much and you don't want them to leave, ever. It's all about making the good memories to look back on, you'd want your last months to be filled with as much joy as possible I'm sure. *hugs*

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through.
Alot of things are not fair in the world but yet we cannot change them.
I know this will sound blunt but the only way to face this is by being there anf strong for your father and then your mother. They are inseperable and loosing ones other half is devestating. You need to be stong for them.
You may also want to keep busy, even though you may not feel like it.
Everybody deals with emotions in different ways, I for instance, get angry and worried. Go to the gym and kick the **** out of a boxing bag. Make sure you don't push your boyfriend away either because you need to be looked after too. You need support and love that your mother may not be able to give at the moment, so let your boyfriend help you.
My condolences and I hope you get through this more or less alright