Reclaim my dress
 

I tried to reclaim my social dress. Last time I wore it-obviously at the social; This is gonna sound lame. But I was beginning to have issues with my weight, I wasn't happy at being so exposed in a dress. I'd been cut free for quite some time-maybe-2 months? And I was miserable, very suicidal. Basically I ended up feelin' so alone, worse than before-because a guy I really liked rejected me-actually pretty much everyone did. And obviously I jumped to how 'ugly' I was. So yeah-that night-it ended in alot of restricting and cutting-which was to go on until maybe, February.

Well today-I decided I would reclaim this dress-in the name of 'recovery' Let's just say it didn't happen. I've never felt so hideous in my life-and even being dolled up to the eyeballs didn't help, I felt like a dirty whore. And I eat-oh God how I ate-I know this is gonna have consquences. And I really want to cut aswell-because, let's just say-some relationships that I used to rely on for surival have dissolved into non-existance, I've lost support. I'm feeling very insecure.

I'd really like some encouragement & support-it's alot to ask, tonight there's a hella lot of posts-but please, I really need some nice words.

Robyn x

My meds have kicked in so i cant write much, im falling asleep here heh!

Robyn, you know a lot of people here love you to bits, and you are so very pretty with kick ass hair. Dont let people get you down and dont isten to that voice in you head telling you the bad things.

Keep your chin up, and keep fighting, youl win in the end

Sweetheart, you're not hideous at all. You're drop dead gorgeous.
Try not to cut, distract yourself on here. In the arcade, playing games on the internet, whatever you have to to do distract yourself and not cut or anything.
I'm sorry I have't got anything else to really add.
*hugs tight*
You're gorgeous sweetheart don't let a dress and some lying voices tell you otherwise.

ok, i wrote a reply to this post as soon as i logged on, but my computer froze and i lost the post. :plain: so here's my second try :)

Eating is good- you don't need to feel guilty about it. Beauty doesn't depend on weight. It truly doesn't. I completely understand blaming rejection on your appearance- I do the same thing- but I highly doubt that anyone there ignored you because of how you look. Either way, they were missing out on talking to a lovely person- inside and out.

I'm sorry that your support system is failing right now. I'm here if you ever wanna talk about anything! And there are a lot of other people on RYL who care about you too! *hugs*

I just want to add an agreement about the kick ass hair. It rules. As a matter a fact you rule.

Robyn,

You are in no way at all hideous! Chick, you are absolutely beautiful! You have amazing hair. You have soft, kind eyes. You have a smile that could light up a room, whenever I see a picture of you I can't help but smile. You are thin. In fact, if you lose anymore weight you will be too thin!

I'm so glad to hear that you are eating! I know it can feel horrible and make you feel guilty, but eating is good...eating is great! It also shows how strong you are, despite how crappy you are feeling, you have eaten. That is true strength babe.

Don't listen to your depression or ED telling you anything other than the fact that you are a beautiful girl insdie and out. Remember, they are lying. I am not lying. I would never lie to you!

Take care and keep strong,

Jess xx

Robyn, I'm sorry you're feeling bad at the moment. I'm pretty useless myself at the moment but I can assure you that you're not ugly or anything like it at all. I know it's cliche, but whoever rejected you, it's really their loss. I may not know you but I've seen you around and you're a cool person, and anyone who doesn't want to spend time with you is mad. Please eat and try not to cut.