going to university in september?
 

im going to university in september. if i manage to pass my alevels.

im scarde that living on my own means i will self harm more as there will be no one around me all the time and i think i will gte stressed with the work load

does anhyone have any opinion on this of someone who has been to uni? or is any one going and worried about the same thing?


L
x

i am in my 1st yr of uni and am worried about the exact same thing. i started seeing the uni student health counsellor about a month after i got here and she helps me a lot. you will find though that there will often be people around you, even if like me you don't make friends easily, you'll get acquaintences, and so that helps cos u're not actually on your own all that much.

also, holidays do actually come up quite quickly so it makes you concentrate on the fact that you are still connected to your family and friends, and you want to be as cut-free as possible for the holidays (this works for me anyway).

but the best thing to do is just take it one day at a time, keep up with the work as best you can without getting too stressed, and if you think u need some help, ask for it! uni counsellors have seen most things before.

I agree with effervescence. There are a lot of people around and a lot of things to do, so you will meet people. My first day after I finished unpacking I was too scared to go out and meet people but the girl that lived in the rooms opposite me came and dragged me out to meet the rest of the people on my floor. Will you be living in halls or a flat on your own? Either way there will be lots of new people for you to go and do stuff with.

And asking for help if you need it is absolutely the right thing to do while you're there! I had a really hard time at uni and was too scared/shy/stupid to ask for help. I managed to struggle through my 3 years but I was a complete mess by the end of it because I was trying to handle everything by myself. Looking back I know I should have asked for help but I'm still too scared/shy/stupid/stubborn now.

Why do you cut? The situation that triggers you might change once you move to uni so you might find that you cut less. There is loads to be doing, so if you get stuck into clubs/societies/talking to people in halls and lectures then you'll find friends.

i found that it was harder when i moved out and to college. the first year was the worst, just because of adjusting i think! and the 3rd was rough! i've now temporarily dropped out and go back to repeat 3rd and do my 4th, in september!
i think making sure you ask for help is essential, i asked but i had **** docters, and my college is so small it doesnt have any "help" people. so that made it hard.
i have moved back home, and now have a fantastic support system in place so i can go back, or do whatever i want! i find living with other people is good, i have arranged to get a friend move into my flat when i get back (as my boyfriend who i live with works bizarre hours! so i'm alone alot!) so i will have someone around me.
you do make friends/acquaintances easier at uni, so its easier to surround yourself with people. i find i just have to make the effort, even its to go round a mates for a cup of tea, when i'm having urges to SH. there are loads of people at uni, i learnt i need to just drop the people that are bad for me, and dont let there comments bother me. and meet lots of new fantastic ones! i have made the best friends at uni, who understand and are supportive and we're always there for each other.
sorry i've gone on alot there. thats how it was for me!
go and have a fantastic time, uni is really good fun!
wishing you all the best
kija

Hi, I'm currently in my first year of uni, and, I can understand the worry. I'd suggest getting in contact with the university counseling services when you arrive, the services at universities are generally good. The main things is to balance your time, make sure you have a few clubs and societies you're involved in since this is a great way to be around other people, and, after a while, you start to form good friendships. It'll take some time before you are particularly close to anyone, and this is probably one of the difficulties, especially when you're going from somewhere where you had close friends to being around people you've only just met. Given time though, you will find yourself having many people to talk to and this definitely eases some of the stress.

You only need spend a little bit of time each day studying in order to keep on top of it, just make sure you don't spend the whole time in your room and go outside and talk to people. The least healthy thing you can do at uni is to try and study 100% of the time, since you just end up doing nothing.

Uni is a brilliant time to make a fresh start, and you may well find that many of the things which trigger you aren't present at uni, making things easier. As for worrying if you'll get in or not, I did the same thing, it wrecked my summer, when I should have been having a good time. It's not worth worrying about your results until results day. Easier said than done, but chances are that if you've got this far, you are on target to get into your chosen place. If you don't get the results you needed, phone the uni, they may well still take you on.

When I was at uni I found that there were a lot of people around, and I wasn't on my own for long. There were clubs to join, people in the same situation who group together, and they included me in that, which was surprising.

I think you'll find that you'll make friends quickly, because everyone else has done the same as you - moved into a new situation and are concerned about it. You'll find friends in odd places, and you'll get along with others as well. You may find that you won't have time to cut! I didn't for months.

I think you'll be fine. Like The One Who says above, you may find that you leave your triggers behind and won't feel the urge to cut.

You'll have a good time, don't worry.

Take care

Lozx

Hey
Im in my final year of uni now, and my sh never started until i got here. As others have said there are counsellors at most uni's so that is an option, spend time meeting new people, getting to know the new area, joining clubs etc.

I was scared to tell anyone - but those that found out have all been there themselves and have helped and supported me. The chances are someone you meet will be in the same situation as you or will have been there so dont worry too much.

With the work load - if it is too much go and see a tutor, or ask a friend to do work together either on the same course or different because you can always go to the library or something and do some until its done and start early. I used to leave it til the last minute but starting early generally helps with marks, and you could find someone to help you and read over it if you are worried about it. Also enjoy yourself - the work load is manageable its about finding the right balance and that will probably come soon after you start :)

take care
Have an AMAZING time and take each day as it comes.
I have to say despite all the sh, depression etc uni has been the best 3 years of my life so please try to enjoy it -you never know it may make things better as you will probably be occupied more by different things going on xxx.