RYL Forums - akward problem...

hey guys, umm... ok, i'm going to start from the begining.. hope u can all keep up.

when i was in high school i had a major crush on this guy (named J). i never got with him cause i had a boyfriend at the time.
Now, I met my good friend (A). we were friends. he was my best friend in the world, the only one i could ever tell anything to.

After i broke up with my boyfriend a while later i dated A, but it didn't work out for some reason, but we remained good friends.
now, a few years go by, i hear from guy J. and we start dating (A is not too pleased, cause he always loved me. but tried to still be a good friend to me. but i had to cut him off he just got to evil for me).

I'm totally in love with J. at least i think i was. we had more of a physical realtionship. we only saw each other 1-2 times a week. but i was in love. we only lasted a year. i was crushed cause he just up'd and dumped me one day (and i never got my stuff back from him).

you still reading? :smurf:

i go crying to my friend A. and he's there to console me, we hung out a lot, he helped me through a crappy time. then suddenly we just became lovers. and he asked me to marry him. i thought it was sort of a joke, but said yes. but it just started to make sense to me that we were made for each other (i had called him my soul mate at one point, but thought it was a your my friend soul mate thing).
but then he actually proposed, took me to the beach and did it there. i'm still thrilled, and very happy.

but once in a while, i'll dream of guy J and a lot of the time in my mind i almost call guy A, J. i have to stop myself before calling him J. (i had that problem when i was with J, though i actually did call him A...).

im really trying to get why my mind is doing that... can anyone help me shed light on this weird situation?? :pinch:

thanks soooo much for reading this... :(