Strange feelings
 

I dunno if anybody else gets the same feelings I do, I feel like I'm older than I really am, I don't mean like a couple of months or days or even years, I feel like I'm millenia older than I am (not physically of course) but it feels like my soul has been carried down through generations all to come to me, I have wisdom beyond my yeats I've been told, I seem to have experienced almost everything there is to, I don't know but thats how it feels. I dunno, maybe I just need to say it or write it, but it's just a wierd feeling, like I'm trying to become someone who i used to be, but my timeframe won't allow it, like if I don't let it out, it's gonna rip out and cause me to go insane. I feel like I should be older than I am, I really haven't aged physically since I was 15, so I still look like I'm 15 years old, I dunno, it's just wierd. I change myself from day to day, well sometimes, one day i can be the nicest guy you'll ever meet, the next I feel as though I could reach out and rip somebodies throat out, the next day I'll feel depressed, and the next days I'll be angry, this is just an example it fluctuates between several emotions over random days. I dunno about any of it, why do I feel so old in my mind when I feel so young in body, is it really possible that I do have a several thousand year old spirit inside me, is it possible that my vampire fangs that seem to have grown in naturally are just underdeveloped? Why do I love the darkness If I try to be such a good person? why do I still like to be evil though I try to be good at heart? I feel that I truly may be a half-demon Half-angel trying to keep myself from ripping myself asunder.

i feel similarly a lot...maybe not quite like that, but kind of. i totally get the half demon, half angel thing...i feel like there's a war going on inside me a lot. i don't really feel like i have this millinia-old soul inside me, but but at the same time i feel like the parts of me that are constantly 'at war' inside...i feel like it's not really totally me...it's like, it's something else...possibly something really old (like the angel and demon thing.) i feel like my insides are gonna explode someday and yeah...don't really know how else to explain it, but i think i kinda know what you mean. sometimes it's like there's something else controling me...hmmmm i hope i don't sound crazy lol.

If you're crazy then I;m crazy, i'm coming apart right now, I feel it, somethings coming through, and I fear what it may be. Just glad that I;m not the only person who feels sorta the same way. I'm just too much of a good guy to let my dark side take over, and I'm too much of a bad guy to just sit back and let things happen. I really am starting to hate myself.