Some help if you'd be so kind
 

So, here I am, staying awake and drinking to prospone the moment where I have to deal with the fact that I'm triggery tonight. It's not that I'm drunk, or even aiming to get drunk, its that I've found that a few beers helps me stay awake and thus not face the triggers.

See I only harm when I'm in bed at night, alone in the world. Most people I think have a routine and mine is at bed time. I dread bed time, I will do anything to prospone it, and drinking is most effective. Don't get me wrong, on non trigger nights I like my bed, and I don't miss alcohol.

I guess I'm asking where that places me? Do I need help with the drinking even if I'm rarely drunk and don't drink regularly? And what can I replace it with? whats more healthy?

Instead of drinking beer, maybe drink water or cordial?
Personally, i think you should try to find a healthy coping method for the SI, not the drinking.

I know the drinkings not healthy, but at the moment it feels like a catch 22. Drinking keeps me awake til the urge has passed or not drinking results in cuts.

I need something better than both ideally. Anyone any ideas?

*hug*
I don't really know much about drinking.
Do you end up drunk?
Do you drink most nights?
If so then maybe you should get some help.
If you're not then maybe it is, at present, one of the ways you can deal with SI in short term
Long term this is damaging behaviour and not helping your recovery from SI.
PM me if you need to talk to someone ever.
xxxxx

Redbull <3
But no, in all seriousness, you know you have to get to the root of the problem, you know you have to figure out what's making you self-harm in the first place.
xxxx