Worrying myself sick
 

Just for starters, my family is very conservative Catholic. I've tried to tell them that I don't believe but they wound up lecturing me. I gave in so they now think I'm Catholic again.

But the real problem is that they're making me go to a religious retreat for four days (five, if you include the trip to the camp as well) where I'll have no access to internet, phone, music, friends...I'll be totally alone and no coping mechanisms or help.

I'm scared. I've stopped self-harming (with a single minor relapse a couple weeks ago) for a year now, and I'm not entirely concerned about THAT but about just...everything.

I'm terrified and sad and angry and I'm trapped.
No way out.

I'm going to bring a notebook and my sketchbook and hopefully that will take the edge off -- assuming I get free time -- but... anyone got any ideas?

Try not to worry to much. Believe it or not, it might be fun. I'm not religious, but I've still had fun at religious events because some of the stuff they do is just... normal. Just try to relax and have fun. I think its a good idea for you to bring those, and anything that may make you happy incase you feel homesick or need a distraction, but I think you'll enjoy it (well, besides the fact that its Catholic).

Just relax and try to have fun, make some friends. You don't have to believe to have fun!