Miss my mum.
 

she died of a brain tumour 4 years ago, and im still not over it i didn't get to say goodbye [i know millions of people dont] and she was cremated so i dont have a grave to visit. I don't smile alot and i feel that when i do im forcing it. But i dont get it everybody is always telling me to cheer up or smile but i cant
and i feel like if i tell them why they'd just tell me to get over it because it was 4 years ago. Am i ever going to stop grieving?

I'm so, so sorry about your loss. I can really relate to your feelings, I lost my Mum suddenly almost 7 years ago. Not getting to say goodbye can make things even harder to deal with, maybe you could write her a letter and read it to her? It can be helpful to get your feelings out onto paper and hope that somewhere she can hear you. Four years isn't actually a long time ago when you have lost someone so close to you, it's natural that you still miss her very much. It is true that things get easier with time and it's natural that everyone will be telling you to cheer up because no one likes to see others distressed.

I can also understand about the cremation, my Mum was also cremated. You might like to find a special place to go and remember her, like somewhere that she enjoyed going or a really peaceful place. Mark out one spot that could be a place for you to go and remember and talk to her. Like a makeshift grave. It can feel like you are forcing smiles, often for the sake of others, but i'm positive that with time you will be able to smile for real. Your Mum has taught you so much and you will carry that with you throughout your life. There are many things worth smiling about around the corner and i'm sure that you have happy memories of your Mum also. Right now it's hard to think that way because your emotions are so raw, it will come to you with time.

Is there anyone you feel able to talk to who would take your feelings seriously? It might be beneficial for you to try and see a grief counsellor if you find it difficult to talk to those close to you. You can always talk to us here, use live help, or email the supporters (links in my signature). I'm thinking about you. Please take care of yourself and get in touch any time.

i dont know how it feels to lose mum but i do know how it feels to lose someone close to me.
im still grieving for my best friend five years on.
hunny when you grieve it will take you as little or long you need.
as one step closer said find somewhere your mum loved where you can go and talk to her or just sit and remember her.
not being able to say goodbye is horrible but hunny please dont let that hurt you because your mum will always know how much you loved her.
im always around if you want to talk.
xxx

Hey there,
I am so sorry you had to go through losing your mum *cuddles close* I can't imagine how awful that must have been for you, and I think you are incredibly strong to have pulled through it, I am sure your mum would be very proud. One suggestion I have so that you can hopefully remember your mum with more of a smile than sadness is to create a memory box. this can contain anything-photos, a squirt of her perfume, a standing joke between you written out, a letter of things you'd love to say to her-I knew one girl who wrote a letter once a week putting down everything going in her life to her mum (who had also passed away) and it really helped her to think that if there was some 'higher place' her mum would know she was trying to make contact and keep her informed.

take care, and remember all of ryl is here for you, day or night,
Katy
xxx

It's always hard when you lose someone close and don't get the chance to say a proper goodbye. I do feel for you.
Do take care and PM if you ever need to talk x