Suicide...triggering.
 

It's all i want right now. I have just sudenly been plunged into this fucking feeling again. Things haven't been good for a while but i'm rather practised at hiding it, but right now it's in my thoughts all the time. I just don't know how to control this anymore. I know about my friends, i know about my family, i know it's the most selfish thing a person can do and i know the risks of it not wokring but leaving ym as a vegetable. I've had friends commit sucide, friends who've tried to, hell i've tried to. It's just worse this time, so much fucking worse. I don't think i will do it but i want to and that's bad enough. Sorry.

Don't be sorry, you can't help your feelings and apologizing is only going to make you feel worse. You have every right to express what you're wanting to do, and you definately should.

Do you want to post a little more about what's making you feel this way? Please don't do anything, and don't hide it. Hiding it only decieves the people who could potentially help you, those who would be crushed if anything happened to you.

Holly im really sorry things are so tough for you at the moment, I dont really know what to say, as you said it would be devistating for your friends and family, and there are huge risks in it not working. You know that.
All I can say is...I know how much some of the members here love you, I know how close some of the members are to you...and if there are people here who love you that much and if there are other people who love you that much...surely that is worth hanging on for.
Thats a lot of love, a lot of love, I hope you can keep fighting for it.
Take care hun xx

I love you.

That is all .

Okay, proper reply because you can't see me type this :)

I hate that I'm not going to see you for 3 months (I'll come to yours in September so we can go see Gossip,okay? Good)

If I could do/say something to stop you from feeling this way- then I would. I care the most about you, and I love you the most. That is why I'll *try* and do anything to help you. Even if I just have to hug you, I don't mind.

I'm crap at stuff like this, but I love you.

You can still talk to me about this when I go home (much againgst my will.)

xxxxxxx