i think i need help
 

hi , my name is sarah
i was a normal girl with a normal life
i used to be happy have friends around meand just be gr8 in everythin
i used to love my life , im a law student with alot of friends and loved by every1 and i have amazing bf
but that changed over night . my whole world turned upside down and nothin is the smae anymore
my mom we used to have a close relationship she used to bemy best friend , but it wasnt always perfect she was hiding a big seceret , she havin affaire with some1 and i jut found out and it kills me inside and thats when troubles between m and her started, she knows that i know and she's gettin back at meby trnin myfather against me, telling him that im bad and alot off stuff that made my dad go wild and just take away evrythin from me,im not allowed to talk to my friends anymore or see them ,im not allowed to go to the club which wa a g8 part of my life practicing wot i love, and each day ne whole dramawith my parents
i used to talk to my frinds but now thy are azll gon they traveld to canda and havin fun with thier lifeunlike me,the only rock that keeps me strong is my bf and guess wot? he's away also and thats not the only thing at the end i might not end up with him cause my fam wont let us together its stupid i know , i truelyy miss him alot , he's my everythin and all i have
im rly rly lonely and have no1 every1 is away , the pain is just too much
i tried to end my life once, i dunno i just had a fight with my bf and i just couldnt take it , i duno wth i was thinkin at that time well i wasnt even thinkin at all , i do stuff to hurt myself , i cutt alot aloott i cant even stoop , pull my hair,, hitt myself hard wot ever it takes just tofeel the phisychal pain and just feel numb and calm
i rly need help and im lost , my bf tryin to help but i dunno if its workin or not but i need help:cry:

I'm very sorry to hear about your parents. It's very unfair of your mom to turn your dad against you like that. I suggest you talk to him, without her there, about it all? He'll understand, I'm sure. I hope everything turns out okay in the end, it always does. Take care. PM if you ever want to talk. xx

hugs,
u need to confront ur mom about what she saying.
also tell your dad whats been going on.
its not fair that u have to suffer

hey shellz
i wish it was that easy its rly rly hard, how could u ever tellur mom hey mom i know ur havin afair its just hard and might make things worse , i dun wanna be the 1 that breaksthe fam and tell dad , sometimes iwish i could do it but im not brave enough , i have lil sis that i worry about that could tear her apart , yday i had a rly bad night i had a fight with my bf and it was the first time i cutted that deep it was a rly bad cutts and feel a sec i felt good but then i was scared ashamed i felt sp bad specialy that my bf was watchin , i screw up alot i dunno wot to do anymore, he told me that if i cutt he will cutt and he was so seriouse about it , it just freaked me to death , i wanted to endd mylife and just rest

Hiya,

I have had a difficult relationship with my mum so I know how hard it can be. There is something that can be so painful when you're on bad terms with your mother, and it makes you feel so isolated. Is there anyone else in your family you are close to? Your sister, cousin, grandparent...anyone? Maybe see if you can go for a coffee with them, spend some time with someone close who is not your boyfriend. You don't have to tell them anything you don't want to, but just so you feel less alone.
You could always try writing your mum a letter, or even your Dad. Basically, I think she is scared of you. Because you know she has had an affair, you have a power over her and she is being horrible to you because she does not want you to have this power. Unfortunately, you don't want this power either.
However much our mothers may love us, they can hurt us so much. Does she make you feel guilty? Does she make you feel like you have to punish yourself? Sometimes I cut myself because I feel that's what I deserve.

hey coquillage ,you're absoultly right , i don't have a close family and my grandparents they are abit hard to be around i have my cousin but he also knows what i live through so i try not to be around him all that time , because i dont wanna live my life around that drama and thats all he talks about how to help me or fixx me .
when you say power it sounds so good , but in real its a weakness i dont deserve that power im weak not brave at all , sometimes seeing my dad treats mom very well give her what she wants and just make her happy , makes me feel guilty so bad about myselife and makes e hate her for doing that , i can understand that dad used to bd really mean to her and sometimes he is but theres no goodenough reason for anyone to cheat on some one else , i hated when she act with two faces , when he's arroundtell him that he loves hom , hugg him and just make everythin sounds very norml , the minute he leaves the room , you're dad is such an asshole , he blmaes me for everthing bla bla bla .. when i try to defend him , she will b like you hate me , u never take my side , i did that and that for you , i took care of you and thats what i get from you , she makes me feel so awfull about myself like im ungratfull to her , like m the one who treats her bad , like im the one who yell or throw stuff , its just not easy at all , it feeels like im stuck in hell , the pain is just too much that i cnt help but cutt

To be honest it sounds like your mum is the one with the problem. If she is so unhappy with your dad - why is she still with him?
Don't let her make you feel guilty for anything. She chose to bring you into this world, so it was her responsibility to look after you. You have done nothing wrong you are a good daughter. I think you need to be kinder to yourself and next time your mum is speaking to you like that you tell yourself that you do not deserve to be spoken to like that. Just keep remembering you are a GOOD PERSON.

i always try to say that to myself but sometime when u're down and feelin rly ly bad its hard to belive that or belive that everything will be ok ,
all i think about is i wanna cutt hm no i dont yes, i wanna cutt its like a big fight in my head and just cant tak it , imhavin so much in my life that the smallest things upsets me and makes me wanna cutt , i just wanna be ok and stop cuttin and have the normal life i used to have , my problem is not only with my mother its with eery1 , i miss my friends alot they all went to canada and no1 is her i wanted to go with them but mom told dad not to let me , so im stuck in hell lol ...
i just cant be fine at day time i have to deal with mom and stress collage exams and night i have night mares that freaks the hell out of me.,,, i just wanna be fine and happy .. sometimes i wonder wot did i do to deserve that , why cant i be happy atleast normal