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-   -   Letter to CAMHs therapist *safe* (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=44336)

Queer Fringe 21-04-2008 05:19 PM

Letter to CAMHs therapist *safe*
 
I've written this letter to my 'family therapist' because of what happened in my last session with her (as explained in letter)
The question is: should I give it to her?
I was gonna ask my hypnotherapist but she wont answer the phone sooo...yeah :-) here it goes:

"Claire"

When you ignored me in the last session, I left it feeling rejected, ashamed and low, despite the fact I was particularly low before I came into the session, you can call it a phase, and even if it is, it's a very bad phase which I need help with. I'm not going to go into detail because my parents are here, but telling me it's a phase/teenage thing certainley wont take it away and make it better. I was trying to express myself in a healthier way by talking, and not being listened to ruined it. My experience (up until that session) with CAMHs has taught me to talk to people about how I'm feeling instead of cutting or punching things, and then I finally go to speak and it gets shoved back in my face. Since then, I haven't told people about how I feel, I haven't cried, I haven't expressed myself through words, I also haven't cut. As a result of this I keep having outbursts of anger (I would get them usually but these were worse), sometimes beyond my control, but no-ones around when it happens.
When "Tibbs" (he's the psych) first mentioned family therapy, I turned my nose up, how can it control mood swings like this?! I've tried CBT, that didn't help, I don't see the point in anti-depressants, why take them when I'm also manic/extremely hyper as well as low and not being able to function properly. Anyway, I decided to give it a try, just to say I've tried that and it's helped/not helped. I can expand on that, but I'm angry but calm at the same time and afraid I will say something out of order/ that I may regret when I'm in a different mood. I'm aware that I have drifted off to different things when all I wanted to say was that I think it was unfair what you did, but I'm apparently cryptical and I'm trying to stop that, so this is the best I can do, sorry if I left things out but it doesn't seem like you're interested anyway. Sorry if this seems 'harsh', I personally don't think it is, I just think that if you're a therapist, part of your duty is to listen. Which you did not in the last session.

Hazel.

Behind the Smile 21-04-2008 05:31 PM

I think you should send it
If she takes it in to account, it could mean her not doing the same thing to someone else
It could mean that someone doesn't have to feel like you did when it happened x

Queer Fringe 21-04-2008 05:33 PM

Thanks, I will give it to her tomorrow when I see her. I'm worried about her reading it aloud to my parents though...I know how much she hates me.

deadstar 21-04-2008 06:16 PM

I think that is a very honest letter, and you should definitely give it to your therapist. It might also help to make you feel better about the therapy situation because it might feel like less of a burden if you've got it off your chest.
Could you maybe put on the top of the letter something like ' i would really appreciate it if you do not read this letter aloud to my parents' if you are worried about that?
Good luck, let us know how it goes xxxx

Queer Fringe 21-04-2008 06:19 PM

Thanks, should I give it to her at the start, or end? 'cause I'm gonna be with her 'team' of social workers and psychiatrists...I would've said all that but she didn't listen last time, so whats to say she will this time :-P xx

TimesLikeThese 21-04-2008 06:40 PM

Send it Send it! I love you <3

Queer Fringe 21-04-2008 06:57 PM

OK, thanks :-) so when? at the start or end?

Whispered Secret 21-04-2008 07:06 PM

I would personally say at the start. Then you can start the session afresh, both of you knowing where you stand.

Queer Fringe 21-04-2008 07:42 PM

OK, thanks.x

Stellata 21-04-2008 08:07 PM

Definitely at the beginning.

I would reword the part about 'it gets shoved back in my face'. Can you explain that in a different way?

I'm also wondering if you don't get listened to by your parents, and the therapist was somehow mirroring this for you to help you express your feelings...

youonlyliveonce 21-04-2008 11:11 PM

hi im so proud of you having the guts to do that. definatley at the start then she or you cant brude on it or forget about it.
well done
xxx

deadstar 21-04-2008 11:16 PM

As has been said, definitely at the start so that you can get rid of any negative feelings towards her before you start the session and so she knows how she made you feel in the last session so she can avoid acting the same way this time.
*hugs* xxxx

Squiffie_1 21-04-2008 11:32 PM

Yeah, definately at the start of the session.
You are so brave!!!!
Good luck!
xxxxxxx

MrsNutkin 22-04-2008 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stellata (Post 710769)


I'm also wondering if you don't get listened to by your parents, and the therapist was somehow mirroring this for you to help you express your feelings...

I'm studying Counselling at the moment, I know it's true sometimes Counsellors have to mirror situations but I find that very confusing. If a Counsellors mirrors behaviour within the family then the client won't really get help.

Sorry, I didn't mean to hijack this Hazel but that I find confusing. Stellata, it's nothing to do with what you've written just the idea I can't get my head around.

Stellata 22-04-2008 01:38 PM

My perspective is that awareness is power... But it needs to be managed appropriately by the therapist..

dark_light 22-04-2008 02:10 PM

Thats really good, i think you should give it her
Hope it goes ok, well done for writing it so articulately
Jo xx

The Midnight Crazies 22-04-2008 04:23 PM

Sounds like a bad therapist, show her the letter and let us know how it all went!

Marte

pixie*lyssie 25-04-2008 01:01 PM

Hey sis, sorry I haven't been on lately, we had a house warming and my granny is over from the states (she's indian though... yes I'm half indian lol)

anyway I think you should send it (if you haven't already) I think this is extremely strong of you and you are doing the right thing by sending this as your therapist didn't show maturity but you are. I don't mean that in a descending type of way but I didn't know how to put it, lol. just... well done, hehe. I'mma shut up now sis, love you keep that beautiful chin up. xxx


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