How best to support friend
 

One of my best friends is a young carer.
She's just found out her mum has MS on top of her bad arthritis.
And she's found lumps in her chest.
They have very little money and her mum won't be able to work much longer.

She's refusing to take any money from her mum and wants to get a job to support the family better.
She's only 15 and I think this is a huge weight for her to bare (considering she's pretty depressed and stressed already) and I think it's gunna make her alopecia worse which in turn will make her more miserable and so forth.

I wanted her to come out this evening to the cinema.
I offered to pay.
But she won't accept my money.
I don't want to treat her like charity but I can't just see her sitting around being miserable and stressing.
I feel so bad for her.
I've told her if it really bothers her taking my money then she can tidy my room or something.
She needs something to keep her mind off it.

How do I support her if I can't take her out and keep her mind off it?
I'm always here to talk and she knows that but she needs to have fun too.

Help?
x

My head's not in the best place today, so sorry if this is rambled and useless.
I think just be honest with her - tell her what you wrote in your post, that it's only because you care about her and want to try and help.
If money is an issue, maybe try and find something to do which doesn't involve cost? Like watching a dvd at home?
I know it's really hard when friends are struggling, but try not to burden yourself too much with it. All you can do is be there for her, which it seems like you're doing.
I imagine being a young carer is extremely difficult. Is she seeing a therapist or someone like that who can offer her support?
xxxx

Thanks, yeah I'm trying but she won't even come out now.
She's going over to her other friend's tomorrow night and she doesn't want to leave her mum more than once this weekend.

I'm sensing things between her mum and her step-dad (he doesn't live with them because he got abusive towards my friend and then threatened to kill himself and ended up being sectioned...it's complicated) are getting worse and she doesn't want him to storm out in an argument and leave her mum alone.

And her therapist has been on sick leave for like 3 months and I can tell it's having a somewhat detrimental affect on her.

Reassure her that there's no need to think negatively before anything has actually happened. Yes, there are things that don't look so good, but don't think it will happen, because it might not. I know it can be dishearting (is that a word? =/) when she refuses to do things you've organised for her. It happens to me alot. When I'm looking after someone, I tend to go over the top. Try and get her out the house; for a walk, or shopping, anything. But don't force her into it if she really doesn't want to. Just let her know that you're there 24/7 and will do anything to help her feel better. Take care. xx