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-   -   End of relationship/getting over someone. (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4402)

munchkin. 14-06-2007 12:26 PM

End of relationship/getting over someone.
 
Me and my partner broke up after a year and a half or so. The short version being that I was/am going through a low period and they couldn't deal with it; that I can see is fair enough because I really am even more of an absolutely awful person when I'm in that state.

Anyway. I need to shut the hell up and get over myself or something. I have exams starting on Monday which I'm already well on my way to failing spectacularly. I can't revise because all I do is think of them, I've barely slept in months, but even less since we broke up. And just generally it's made everything that bit worse even though it felt like the end of the world.

So, if anybody has any advice on how to get over it it would be appreciated. Especially anything which would poke me into revising and not failing.

Thanks in advance. xxx

little_munchkin 14-06-2007 12:31 PM

I've just gone through pretty much exactly the same thing. Only difference is that my relationship was a lot shorter than yours, but it was so intense you'd think we'd been together a hell of a lot longer.

I can't give you any advice as I'm still trying to figure out how to move on myself, and I've already majorly messed up 2 exams.

I guess the only point to this message is that you're not the only person going through something like this, stay strong, we'll both figure out a way to get through this.

Luci x

griddlebone 14-06-2007 12:37 PM

all i can say is that you have to think about your future. if you fail your exams youre damaging your future and its not worth it. i know its hard when you break up with someone,but maybe revising and working hard on your exams will keep it off your mind for a while.good luck,.x

purexcocaine 14-06-2007 05:06 PM

Yeah, there really isn't that much advice, anyone can give. Your heart has just got to heal over time. I mean it's been 3 months for me, and I still get my really low period when I think about it.
Although you could think of all the bad things about him, it really comes out at these points i thinkk :) :)

<33

Mental Razor 14-06-2007 07:28 PM

Ok, I'm not perfect or anything, but I am 28 and have been through a few serious relationships and one divorce, so I have some advice that might help!
1)Stop blaming yourself!!! Or thinking you could have done something differently to keep them. Things happen for a reason! (at least I think they do)
2)Avoid songs or movies that make you think of them.
3)Go to some new places if you can, places the two of you never went, a new restaraunt, different park ect.
4)Put away any pictures of the two of you or gifts they gave you for awhile.
5)If you can, get yourself something to take your mind off of it, something that you can focus on, a new cd, or video game, a pet if you can.
6)Last, try not to overstudy, if you bore yourself too much with studying, you will automatically start to dwell on things, if you start to do this, take a break for a little while and play your new cd, or game, ect.

I hope this helps!!! Good luck, remember, time heals all wounds! :) And if you need to talk you can pm me!

Lampost 14-06-2007 07:37 PM

Just keep strong is all I can say. I'm going through a simillar thing and currently I am getting no where with myself. take care hunni it will get easier.
beth xxx

howlie, 14-06-2007 09:50 PM

Well i just made him into a total f*****g c**t in my mind, tho as he was a pth liar it wernt to hard. But just make him evil in your mind, and worry abut the end after your exams, it worked for me.

munchkin. 14-06-2007 11:15 PM

Thank you for the responses everybody, it's food for thought at least :). xxx

Slavecharolette 14-06-2007 11:39 PM

Try not to stress about it too much. This person who you were with is gone now. They were right for you at that time in your life, they were good while it lasted and remember the good things. The important things to remember is that there will be another person who comes into your life and who will be able to love you more then they did. Someone who will support you at your worst. I understand why they left - It can be very stressful for our partners to help us, but that doesnt mean he doesnt still love you. Albeit, not in a relationship.
Also, with studying, In australia we operate on what we call a bellcurve system when it comes to grading. If whereever you are they operate on that too then consider that it is ok for you to fail these tests, they will not be the end of the world.
I know failing feels horrible, But dont stress. Make yourself a nice drink and buy some choccie biscuits or something and sit down to study. tell yourself I will study for one hour and then I will do something i want to do. When you have finished the activity, repeat it. Thats how I got through.
Hope I have helped some, let us know how it goes.
Stay safe.

~SuNsHiNe~ 16-06-2007 11:15 AM

i have been through something similar relatively recently (same reason we broke up and everything) and i know how much it sucks, but remember , as has been said already, ur not alone.all i can say is pretty much going to echo what everone else has said-it does get better eventually but does take a LOT of time..i know its hard to concentrate but just do ur best, thats all anyone can ever do..if you want to talk more pm m e and ill try to help as much as possible
take care sweetie xo


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