Why would I want to be reminded!
 

So i'm going to get the scars on my wrists removed. Wont be complete because I get keloid scars, but they'll be thinner and will actually fade, unlike the ones that are there now. Anywho, I posted a poll in general because I wanted to know what other self harmers thought. All my friends and family think it's an awesome idea (my parents will pay for it) but i know they hate my scars and it reminds them that i'm the resident screw up. But that's not the point, I will not be hired as a youth worker with the scars I have now. They can't be anything but self-infliced. I can't hide them unless i'm wearing long sleeves... and sometimes that's just not practical. Anyways, the responses are really good but i'm just a little curious about something...

Why the hell would I want to be reminded of the pain and loss and devastation I've been through? People are saying that they see their scars and they are reminded of what they've been through and how strong they've become. I don't want to be reminded! I don't need some marks on my skin to remind myself how much pain i've been through in the past 15 odd years. Most of the scars are on the inside anyways. All I have to do is look at the friends i've lost and the broken relationship I have with my family.. so tentative and fragile, that any thing could come along and break it... that's all i need to look at to remind me of the past. The fact I can no longer take paracetomol without putting myself in hideous pain... not being able to cope with my eyes being covered or someone hugging me from behind unexpectedly... all reminders of the past.

WHY DO I NEED SCARS TO REMIND MYSELF OF THAT! Fricking hell. I'm alive. Isn't that proof enough that i'm strong? Scars aren't proof that i'm strong. They're just proof of the pain and how many times i've failed over my life. Do I really need to see physical proof of how f*cked up I am...was... ha no. It's not was. I'm still f*cked up. I just don't cut anymore.

Anyways... i'm just wondering.. why do I need proof of being a stuff up?:ermm:

Are those broken friendships repairable? Mayhaps like you are now, fixing your scars, one day you can fix the old friendships you once had. You are a very strong willed person and can survive through anything. Personally I dont think it's you that stuffed things up, I think it happend because of your depression and you are recovering/have recovered because of the almost 10 months cut free. I hope you continue to succeed in what it is you choose to do and good luck with everything.

I feel the same as you, i dont need scars to remind me, i'll never forget all i've been thru.
Right now all they really do is inhibit me in things i'd like to do, to be honest. I can't do this, or wear that because of them...all the signify to me is new loss, loss of freedom i wish i had back.
I'd say go for it Jess. If i had the opportunity i would have my wrist done in a minute..it's horrible looking with all the deep wide scars, i keep a wide bracelet on all the time; it only comes off in the shower/bath.
I wish you luck with hun. With everything.
luv
romp

I think the question you raise Jess is a good one and one that can relate to many things in life. What you have to take into account is that people deal with things differently and also people relate sensorially to things in different ways. Some of us are visual people and need visual stimuli and reminders to get by. Some of us are kinesthetic and need to "feel" to get by and under stand and so on.

The fact that you dont need the phsysical reminders does not necessarily mean that you dont need any reminders at all! It just means that you dont need "that" kind of reminder. We ALL need reminders because how else would we learn or set markers against which we learn?

what you are saying relates to other things too and for me the first thing that comes to my mind is that of when someone dies. ALOT of people NEED visual reminders of the person they lost. They need them to not forget them. however i am not one of those people. I dont need gravestones and pictures to remember. I can see them perfectly well without and i can hear them too.

Jess you go and get the scar reduction treatment. You do what ever it is that YOU need to do. If others need to cope in different ways then so be it. you deal with yours in the way you feel best with.

We are all different.

We are all so proud of you and the amazing battle you have overcome!

Love
Matthewxxx

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