Self Obsession?
 

Still a little confused at the moment, I am trying really hard not to be negative and to "hassle" my friends for help. I got "caught out" recently when one friend tried using what I had told her against me to manipulate me. Another friend says she wont feed my negativity and so if I send her negative messages (by SMS) she wont reply. All of this has meant that when I have felt I cant cope I havent been able to turn to anyone...But in the last weeks I have been finding it harder and harder to pretend everything is ok, so this week I have coped the only way that I know how - which is to self harm and send out loads of negative SMS messages, but no one seems to be talking to me. So now I am getting myself even more worked up and confused - is it because I am overloading these people, is it because I want to feel sorry for myself and have them "looking after" me? Just very lonely and scared at the moment and dont seem to have anyone to reach out too..

So the question is am I self obsessed - do I need other people to feel sorry for me so that I feel better about myself?

Sorry for the pathetic words in this posting.


FORD

Hey there,

I don't think anyone can answer that question for you, at least I know I can't. Only you know everything that goes on in your mind. But I realize it's hard to judge yourself objectively.

See.. I think it's only natural that you're trying to reach out to your friends when you're not feeling well. Humans aren't meant to be alone, and feeling lonely can really hurt. Of course there has to be that fabled balance, but everyone needs support and understanding at times. Maybe your friend's approach (about not 'feeding your negativity', I mean) might work for some, but truth be told if I were in your situation there I'd feel like she only likes me when I'm happy, and somewhat left alone with my problems. It depends on the intention - have you talked this through with your friends? Or do they just refuse to even address the problem?

It's not a pathetic post at all, and while I don't have any answers, well - I hope you'll be alright.

you sound just like me - don't worry....

i've been called self obsessed - but i KNOW that we're not....

it is possible that maybe you do send them txts to find someone to care... but it is also possible that you just want your friends to understand you and you want to reach out to them...

i too send negative txts to my friends - sometime overexaggerated - because i used to think that they would not care if it was not too extreme..

i was wrong. i realized that the mroe extreme txts i sent the more worried they got and i just felt guilty....

your friend says she won't feed your negativity..... just like a mirror to my friend! at times when i need her most i send her txts about my TRUE negative feelings and she chooses not to reply, thinking i do everything for attention...

i really suggest talking to you friend if you havent already
and telling her that TALKING about your problems will actually channel your negativity and will allow you to be distracted from it....

i'm not very helpful i know, but i know exactly what you mean...

xxxx