I don't know anymore.*trig for everything!*
 

Ok so,feeling like absolute crap at the minute. My boyfriend(well ex now) hit me for the first time on sunday,and i still have chest pain. He said he's sorry,but i don't know,it's over. He phoned me last night and said he was going to kill himself because he doesn't see any point in being alive without me in his life. And my best friend is still telling me everyday how little she's eating,how many overdoses she's taking,how she's also going to kill herself.
I didn't go to school yesterday,too damn scared,went today,but i had to come home i couldn't handle it.
I have no friends anymore,my ex has turned everyone against me. Nobody came near me today when he was there,even the people i thought were my true friends.
What's the point anymore?
I don't even want to wake up in the morning,because i'm too scared that i might do something,or someone might say something and i'll just break.
:crying:
All i am is a burden to everyone,i don't know what to do.
What's the point in me being alive,when i'm too scared to go to school,don't have any friends,there is no point.I thought he loved me,but he obviously doesn't,why would he hurt me so much?
This thread is completely pointless.
I just want someone to give me a reason to carry on living :(:(


xx

First off it is very, very wrong for anybody to hit you for any reason and I'm so sorry that happened, and with somebody you obviously care a great deal about and trusted. However I think it chose immense positivity and strength to be able to say that the relationship is over before it becomes regularly abusive, that kind of strength and courage is suprisingly rare and I for one really admire you for taking that tough decision.

What your ex is doing by saying he is going to kill himself is using emotional blackmail to manipulate you, and that's not right. I highly doubt that he is serious in his threats, however even if he did do something silly it would Not Be Your Fault. He destroyed your relationship by doing what he did and now he just behaving like a scared and spolit child using any ammunition he can to get you back. You need to try and continue being strong and showing him that he went to far and that you are in control, and your relationship is irretrievable. I know this may be hard when you are torn yourself but I think you knwo in your heart of hearts the right thing.

I'm sorry to hear that your friend is burdening you with her problems, you sound like a lot of people on here, a very caring and sensitive person who has a tendency to take on other people's problems even when you are strugglnig yourself. I think though, you are beginning to realise that you need a break, and that this is not a fair friendship. Does your friend have professional help for her problems? If so it might be worth persuading her to write down the things she's talking about with you to take in to her sessions and next time she tries to tell you politely tell her 'we sorted it out for you to talk to your psych about this remember? i'm jsut not able to help you as much as you need right now' or some such thing. If she isn't getting professional help your place is to encourage her to reach out for this, because the sooner she gets professional help the sooner she can improve and have somebody else to talk to, easing the burden on your shoulders.

I'm sorry to hear how badly your friends are treating you, it sounds like they are rejecting you out of fear of your boyfriend or they have only recieved his warped side of things. Maybe try picking off one of the friends who is most usually loyal and ready to listen and talk to them about it, then at least you will have one ally.

I think we can both safely say that you are certainly not useless or any such thing. Where would your friend who is struggling be right now, without such a loyal friend battling through with her and providing a listening ear despite what she herself is going thorugh.

Also unfortnately hun nobody can truly give you a reason to live, you have to find that for yourself; people can help you along the way but ultimately scary as it is it is your responsibility.
take care, i hope this helps
Katy
xxx

Don't ever, ever think you are a burden on anyone else - or let them make you think you are... sounds like that couldnt be further from the truth,

I really hope things improve :)

Harley

aw babycakesss.
dont let anyone make you feel this way.
you have to keep on keeping on for yourself, you should always do things for yourself. you have to be happy before you can make others happy, try not to let these things bother you.
i have been in a similar situation, its hard, having nobody.
but things will get better, but for now, just hang in there.
you will be showing great strength if you do.