Laughter & health scares *bit of a rant*
 

I'm sitting her laughing.
Actually physical manic laughter.
Thinking about how much I just want to ****ing die.

It's alright though, because I might get my wish granted for me. Nothing like an upcoming MRI scan to cheer you up. Even though I opted for it. ASKED for it. I'd rather not know. I'd rather go on blissfully living my life in ignorance, and then IF I got ill, well, that'd be it.

My cousin has a ****ing brain tumour, and I wished it was me.

I may get my wish granted.

So I'm sitting and laughing because there's nothing else I can actually do. & it's not like anyone gives a **** either. to be perfectly honest.

Oh, wait, happy face.
Sorted.

So don't you worry about me. Just go on, living your life, full of fun. A life I will never fit into because I'm JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

Brilliant, isn't it?

You deserve better hun. Laughter is just a defense mechanism but I am sure you know that. I will be thinking of you. I'm sorry I have no useful words of advice right now but I wanted you to know I had read and care x

*hugs*
We care. I know that probably means nothing seeing as we haven't really spoken before. But I can tell you now that all of us at RYL care.
I know it's scary, but try to be positive. There is always the possibility that the scan will come back and show no signs of anything abnormal. Just hang on to that x

Chels, I suck at this, but, like. I'll see you later? I need to to text you. I'll do that. If I can find my phone.

Lunchdate. <3 you.

Chelsea =[
I love you,and I'm here for you okay,but you need to like, tell me?

Always here

x

Please take care of yourself chels a lot of people care for you and you are an absolute star even if you cant see it yourself. I hope things go ok with the scan, sometimes you can get yourself worked up about these things even when in the end they turn out to be fine. Stay safe hun xx

I'm really scared.
My life is finally going the way I want it to go and I don't want this to **** it up.

You will be fine. There needs to be a brain there for them to find something wrong so you have nothing to worry bout!!!

i understand your worry chels.
i had a scare a few months back with a tumor in my breast. it turned out to be benign and they removed it. but the waiting was scary.
im sorry you have this adding to your stress.
just try to stay calm hunni.
will be thinking of you.
much love.
xxxxxxxxxx

I have so much to say and no words to say it with.
Bollocks.