insanity
 

i am actually losing my mind, i just feel so bad and i have no idea how to stop it. a huge part of me wants just to give up and die (the voices do too) but a smaller part of me knows how much that would hurt everyone else around me. im not sure i have the strength left to fight it. i dont know how to get help because the voices are in controll most of the time they dont let me seek out help. its almost like its me against them and its them that has the power i resist it the best i can but its getting tiring so maybe the best thing is to just let go and hope for numbness? at least that way i wont care when they get their own way. if any of you could give me some advice about what the best thing to do would be i would appreciate it alot.

thanks
hellz xxx

Hellz,

I am sorry you are feeling this way, I can relate in some ways to what it feels like - especially the two sides to it, like you said - not wanting to hurt others. It is good that you have this thought if it is just a tiny bit of your mind, try and concentrate on this thought. It is a "good" thought. You deserve to get better and you deserve a life, it hurts others but it's important for you too.

I don't know how to advise you about the voices, I really think I would just sound patronizing so I should shut up really! Would it be possible to speak to someone on live help or over the phone? Just so you have reassurance from somebody 1:1 and so you know there are people out there. It could just be a one off, you don't have to keep going back for support if your voices aren't happy with that.

Take Care if you can,

Lotti
x

*hugs u tight*
hey hun, please try and keep fighting, keep fighting the voices, you ARE stronger than them. try and find something to look forward to, to keep you going. whether it be someone you really care about, somehting your looking forward to doing, or soemthing as small as finding out what happens next in eastenders or somehting.
can you talk to anyone about how your feeling? i dont necessarily mean a professional of any sort (though that would be of an advantage), but jsut talking to someone often really helps, and by shareing your problems it puts alot less pressure on you.

PM me if you wan tot talk hun

thanks to u both for takin the time to read this. its kindda hard talkin its the one thing the voices hate me doin, its almost like im destined not to get through this. its so tempting to give up. it just makes me feel so useless knowing that i cant even fight this anymore :(

Im sorry you're struggling so much,
the fact that part of you knows how much it would hurt people if you killed yourself is a good sign, and its that you have to hold on to.
Suicide is not the answer. I know how hard it is to ignore the voices, but you have to keep on fighting them. I think you need to go see your GP and tell him/her how you're feeling, they will be able to help you and work out ways to help you cope.
If you cant then try talking to someone, friends, family, anyone you feel comfortable talking to, just to make sure you're not on your own, you shouldnt have to deal with this on your own.
Sorry I cant be much help.
Take care
Aimee xx