O my life. i am stupid !!
 

Argh. I feel like my medication is finally working.

Im feeling alright.
I have a little more energy than when i am being down
I dont feel sad
I dont feel high
I am not being spied on.. and Im not a gift from God either.

What i mean, is i am "normal". "Fine" .. no delusions, no sadness, no excessive energy from being manic. And ... its crap. Im finding it weird! Hard to cope because im not "comfortable" anymore. I dont know what I'm supposed to do. and now i can think about normal things without worrying people are spying on me, or that im on a mission to take over the world.

I'm stupid. Because ive wanted my medication to work for so long, and now it is.. im bored.

Hhope this ramble makes sense!! :(
x

hi girl
ur not stupid lol
ur just feelin like this cos ur not used to feelin "normal"(btw im jealous, i wish i felt like that)
try be happy at least its better than being manic r suicidal
itl just take time 2 get used to
xxx

Hmmm
I think when you're not feeling well you expend so much energy on thinking about and dealing with all the weird and crappy stuff going on in your head that when it finally stops theres a gap left. Its a different feeling but totally normal, you just need time to get used to it.
Maybe try and distract yourself if you feel bored, guess u know the stuff i mean :)
I'm glad you're feeling better though, thats good.
Jo xx

Yeah i understand you :)

i just feel so plain and boring.. and like you said, that theres a gap in my head.

Ive wanted this for so long and now.. i dont lol :/
xx

Well that's exactly the reason I never want meds. I feel that whatever disorders I might have give me a lot of creativity and I get stronger by living and dealing with my problems.

Marte

Thats interesting! When im down though i just wish so hard for the medication to work! How do you cope? x

its nice to hear your doing well xx

thanks shelley.. its just abit .. blahh x

I cope with the mantra 'this too will pass' repeating that cliché over and over in my head. I know I due time there'll be an 'upswing'.

Marte

Thats gd, at least it works for you. :)

i am just so plain and boring though!

i know how you feel hun!! i kinda feel like you too. i mean my meds haven't worked completely, but im not suicidal now. i think its because you haven't got used to the feeling of not being sad and everything, its like you are afraid of the change right? i hope you are doing fine

Irene
xxx

yeh i think so! x

When Depression (or whatever you feel be it anxiety or such) has been part of your life for so long it can seem as if it's a 'friend' almost. It's hard to get used to being without it but with the help of the meds making it easier and with tiny steps it is managable.

One of the things that struck me most when learning about Bipolar at uni was what one of the lecturers commented on briefly.

In essence a lot of people suffering from Bipolar stop taking the medication as they feel a bit like you are feeling. The depression that they suffer is horrible but the mania is 'empowering' it makes them feel on top of the world and so on and because of this when they feel 'normal' they crave the heady feelings that accompany the mania.

I wonder if that fits you?

As the others have said though you are in a fabulous space to work on things and move on the meds are working and you are so lucky to have that. The feelings you are missing are signs that you are ill they wont ease with time and if you were to stop your meds who know if they would ever help again

xoxox

Woe thanks for the advice :)

im going to keep taking them. Ill speak to my dr too tomorrow x

it is hard from feeling low and depressed to feeling ok and your look on life changes.
remember the change you are going through it going to change your life.
it is hard and it is going to take time to get used to the feeling hunny.

Good luck with doc tomorrow xx