i cut..
 

i cut. and i feel terrible!

it all started because my parents had a humongous fight over nothing.. and I was really mad at them. So then on the next day they left really really early in the moring without me. They didn't even tell me where they were going... After that I completely LOST IT! i kept throwing things all over the place. and i swear it didn't seem like i'd stop! i scared myself because I actually threw myself down the stairs! I was just totally out of control.. i even went to the kitchen and got [removed tool]. lucky i didn't have the guts to do it. Something in the back of my head clicked and all my strength left... so instead I took a few pills to keep me from loosing control.

however today I cut myself with [removed tool] it felt so good... except my friend saw my new cuts and she shook her head....

I JUST FEEL REALLY TERRIBLE
has anyone lost this much control???!!

Oh sweetheart I am so sorry!
It's god that you found the control not to do anything worse. I'm so proud of you<3

You can make it though all this. Don't give up. Things will get better.
PM me if you ever need to talk <3

Im really sorry that you slipped up slipping up is part of recovery we all have slip ups but this doesnt mean that you have failed and that you should give up on recovery. You sound quite annoyed i understand you being annoyed with yourself, How ever please remember not to be so hard on yourself as this often makes things more difficult and can lead to other problems. Try to calm down, take a step back from everything for a moment and take lots of deep breaths, im glad that you didnt use the tool to do anything worse thats to me shows that your a very strong person, even if you dont feel you are.

You can get through this and you dont have to go through this alone, we are all here for you and will do the best we can to support you. I just wondered whether you had any support in place at all? Try to keep yourself distracted as much as you possibly can i know its not easy, but take things in small steps. Your such a strong person and have shown a huge amount of strength through this. Please dont give up please keep fighting through this. Maybe you could go for a walk or listen to some calm music, or if it helps perhaps you could write down your thoughts and feelings. Keep talking to us. Please take care of yourself.

Best wishes Ian

aw hug*massive hugs* i cant say i have everlost control but its good that u didn't do further injury to yourself pm me if u need to tlk x