RYL Forums - Ugly - a short story, very, very triggering

Although this story has reflections of my thoughts and experiences it is completely fictional and it is not something I am going to do.

She looks in the mirror and whispers harshly to herself "bad girl, stupid ugly bad girl" But it’s not enough, she needs to be worse she needs to be uglier she needs to be repulsive. Only when she is truly repulsive will she be truly safe no man will touch her then.

She turns around and looks at the 'tools' she prepared earlier, all laid out neatly on a towel on the bed. She picks up the scissors and starts to hack off chunks of her hair she doesn't want to be completely hairless as she has read that some people find that attractive instead she wants it to look disgustingly ugly uneven, maybe with some patches cut down to the scalp but with other bits longer, she wants to look like the freak she knows she is. She chops away violently until she has a look that she is satisfied with.

Finally she picks up a razor blade and makes hundreds of tiny cuts on her hands, her forehead, her chin, her feet, her stomach, but not her cheeks or her arms or legs, she uses another blade for this, she slashes at her arms her face her legs, her breasts, but she cant quite bring her self to cut her vagina.

She did think about knock her teeth out and breaking her nose but she couldn’t manage that either, finally she wraps herself up in the towel and watches the blood begin to stain its white pure surface, now she is truly hideous, nobody would want to rape one as ugly as she, she showers and then phones the ambulance, after all she doesn't want to die, maybe now they will believe her when she tells them that she is bad and deserves to be hurt, because how could one so ugly not deserve pain?