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Merc 10-03-2008 05:41 AM

TRIGGERING
 

************************

First off i am NOT NOT NOT hormonal due to my period...i do NOT suffer that way, thank god

All the sudden i have smashed down, i want to kick scream, beat the living poiss out of soemone, pound the ****ing wall, put my fist thru a wiondow

Im ****ing LIVID

why????

I DONT ****ING KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

im tired,bitch to the max, sad i want to cry which pisses me off even more
ioi want everyone to fucjk off and leave me alone
i want to get in my truck and ****ing drive as fast as i can
i want to pound,smash destroy break

Is this the dreaded crash?? Am i BiPII?? and crashing to depression???
Is iot just a glitch ???

FOR MOTHER ****ING SAKE WHY CANT I HAVE HAPPINESS???!!!IS IT TOO ****ING MUCH TO ASK AFTER ALL THE ****ING **** I HAVE PUT UP WITH , BEEN THRU???
****

ROMP

effervescence 10-03-2008 07:12 AM

hi romp.
its ok to have moments like this! remember all the good stuff thats happened to you recently though, going out, having dinner with friends....you're loved by them, and you've felt what it's like to live life and enjoy it! (can u feel the jealousy lol) just hang in there and focus on the good stuff thats happened ok? you will be FINE, you CAN handle this, you've been through to much sh*t this is just a glitch put in to throw off your course to happiness, but you can get through it, and you WILL.
luv, effervescence.

Merc 10-03-2008 08:18 AM

thank you; you are right....it just hit ,like flipping a switch. Felt like they say manic then flipping. idk....
but i have found one more usefuil thing of OP..they taught us 'diaphramatic breating'...and know what? Me, the biiggest doubters of all in these things WAS almed and somewhat settled by it...NOT completely...but good enough for me. wow.
i dont know what happened....
but im on an almost even keel now; still more anger/vioilence than happy but that should change soon...may just take sleepers early and star fresh tomorrow:o)
thanks for the reply
much apprieiated :o)
love
romp

effervescence 10-03-2008 08:51 AM

no probs. glad uve found something that helps u :) hope tomorrow is a better day luv effs x

Merc 11-03-2008 12:09 AM

unfortunately, today is NOT better...
im a shaking mess..own fault, not eating, cant take pain meds as no food and upsets stomach majorly, i have to get my arm xrayed, there is more damage we are syure the bruising is one thing to come out but more and more swelling...i think not...it feels like ive been kicked in it
im abngry, hungover,tired,cant do the laundry cos hubby didnt carry it downsstairs for me and i just cnt..it hurts to pu a gklass of watter in that hand
and now im just bitching...
thank you for the wishes...maybe i just have to waut a bit due to the distance they have to travel so they wuiill arrive tomorrow..lol...
romp

chocostashchick 11-03-2008 12:27 AM

*hugs Romp*
i'm sorry honey
you need to eat somthing
and then you will get a lovely reward and get to take your vicodin!
it's hard and annoying to force yourself when you don't want to, but it doesn't have to be a huge meal. maybe some toast or some fruit?
i hope the xray goes well
i say that since hubby didnt bring the laundry down so you could do it, HE can do the laundry today!
xxxooo

Merc 11-03-2008 12:33 AM

LOL about laundry !!!!
I managed some yoghurt so took just one pill
im just in so much pain im a bitch apologizing left rught and center to my daufhter for being so grumpmy and the lil love made me crty by asking woulsd a 'muffy hug help at all'???
i dont deerve this child

thx sweets youve helped too!!!!!!!
love ya
romp

chocostashchick 11-03-2008 01:28 AM

oh hey yes you do deserve her!
you made her after all, she's part of you and you are part of her and part of that goodness in her is from you Romp honey
:-p

blondiebear 11-03-2008 02:39 AM

I'm sorry you're feeling so awful. I know about the upset tummy with pain meds. It is awful. The first night with my messed up ankle, I didn't know if I was nauseous from the pain or the pain meds.
My poor husband had to do all of the chores. Crutches and I did not get along. So if all your hubby has to do the laundry, he should survive. ;o)

As you sow, so shall you reap. You have a loving daughter because you're a loving caring mom. How blessed both you and your daughter are.

Hope it goes okay with the check up tomorrow.
*blows you a kiss because afraid that a hug would bump your owie*

Casper_Fading 12-03-2008 01:14 AM

Honey I was expecting this. It's quite normal and that alone should calm you just a little (or piss you off even more... either way...). You're body has just had a MAJOR shock to it and that alone is bound to make you grumpier than the grinch at christmas! On top of that you're trying to cope with other major issues! You're doing fantastically! Take every hug your daughter offers you! Sometimes the children are the ones who see clearly when an adults sight is clouded. Your sight is clouded right now by pain... loooooooots of pain. But it will pass! Hopefully the x-rays will show what's up with your elbow and you'll get that sorted and it will lessen the pain already. But think love, your body was already taxed by the stresses you were going through and then you injured it in such a dramatic fashion (can't do anything by halves ey?) and now you're grumpy and hurting and wanting to beat the crap outof everything... it's normal. I suggest a sappy romance movie or book (i watch disney movies when i'm hurting lol) and something more to eat like popcorn or some more yogurt, some more pain meds and rest.

And to make you feel better, while I was writing this my kitten was trying to climb into my cup of milk....

Merc 12-03-2008 02:00 AM

aaawwww i want a kitten but having a difficult time selling the idea to hubby.....he says 3 doga are plenty :o(
you're right about the shock...do you know i actually was thinking this would bve near gealed in 2 months top!!!!???? what a drip...so yea...youre right as always babe
thanks to all
gonna have a yummy dinner of steamed every-veggie-you-can-think-of with a touch of hoi-sin...yummy
thanks again
romp

Casper_Fading 12-03-2008 02:09 AM

:) 2 months huh? that 6-8 months must have come as a wet blanket shock hey!

You know the best thing about RYL? You can come and rant and rave and bitch and moan.. and know that everyone here has been there is there or just wants to support you while you're there! Keep ranting in here love and it will hopefully stop you hurting out there! Enjoy your dinner (sounds yummy and makes me wonder if I should actually get out of bed and eat lol) and keep smiling...

With the kitten... you could always do what my mum does to my dad... which is come home with one without telling him and then just put it in his lap... my dad hasn't said no yet! lol and last time my mum came home with a black labrador puppy! Works a treat... i did the same thing to my partner pretty much and he loves Georgie and he doesn't even like animals much! But he cuddles her almost more than I do! lol

Be safe dearheart and pm me or message me on msn if you need to!

Tears of Solitude 12-03-2008 05:16 PM

Dear Romp

Im just writing you an email and thought I would see if you have posted, and here you have.

Im sorry you are feeling so frustrated and angry. I wish I could make it better for you.

Right I better get back to my email

Love your friend
Jade xxx

PurpleSmurf 12-03-2008 05:35 PM

* leaves a hug and a flower for you*


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