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I've tried so hard and failed so miserably. I'm back in my box where noone can reach me and I can't reach out to anyone.
I begged my daughter to go back to sleep after her feed so mummy could hurt herself.She deserves better. My arm and legs hurt now but not enough. Please make it go away .

You broke out of your box enough to reach out here.
You say that your daughter deserves better. You deserve better, just for you.
*gives you a comforting hug*

you say that you tried and failed
but you did not fail
you made a great attempt and it did not work out the way that you wanted
but just the fact that you tried, you SI'd, but regret it and realise it is not good for you means that you did not fail
you have come a long way and you just need to keep trying
you can only fail by giving up
so don't give up
do it for you, so that your baby girl can have the bestest and healthiest mum around!!!!!
you're already the best mum she could wish for, so now make sure you stay healthy!!
look after your arms and legs, stay nice and clean
and update when you can
xxxooo
callie

I agree with PutridAngel, keep posting if it will help.

Let us hold your hand through this difficult time. My heart goes out to you.

Jade xxx