dear love, i hate you.
 

it's the one thing i love, and the one thing i hate. i wake up in the morning and feel so bad for giving into my dirty little secret again. but then during the day at work, i cant wait to go to the bathroom and look at it.
how can something feel so good, and so bad?
i went 13 days without cutting. that's the longest i've gone in a very long time. but last night i couldn't take it anymore. i cut, alot. i never do that. it seems like when i don't cut for awhile, when i do break down and do it, i just make up for lost time and end up getting out of control. so defeated.

I know you're disappointed that you gave in, but 13 days is impressive and even if you lapse once in a while, if you keep at it I'd bet you'll get there eventually hun.

13 days is great! You can do it again and go longer, i'm sure. I understand what you mean about cutting worse when you haven't cut for a while- i do the same thing. i don't know what to tell you as i still struggle with it too. but i'm here if you ever wanna talk or just get your mind off of it. *hugs*