My guy-friend and me,, i am confused.
 

heylo everyone.

i don't post here but i felt this was the place to ask this/talk about it. this may turn out quite long and ilogical in which case, i apologise :blush:

i have been friends with this guy, Matt, for a few years now and i am very close to him, he was the first person i ever really told about my ED and i really love him (as a friend). a while ago though i realised i had actual feelings for him,, he found out about this but it was all fine and everything carried on like normal and the feelings seemed to pass. i am pretty sure i don't have feelings for him anymore.

he is very flirty with other girls (most girls infact!) and he known to be a very 'touchy-feely' type guy (not in the pervy sense at all) but lately when i have been round his house and its just me and him we seem to very very cuddly and touchy. it hasn't led to anything and i really don't know what he means when he is doing it. like today i was round there and we were lying on his bed watching a film and he had his hand under my top on my belly and chest.

it doesn't bother me byt him doing this, i feel very comfortable with him, its just i don't know what he actually means by it, if he means anything by it at all. he knows i atleast used to have feelings for him and he never played on them, he was lovely. i know he didn't have feelings for me back then and i don't personally think he feels any differently now, its just,, i am confused!

i know i should talk to him about this but i feel like a bit of an idiot. i don't whether he gets that close to other girls. when ever i have asked any of my other friends if he gets that close to them they always say 'no' but i still don't know if its just me.

thank you if you have taken the time to read this *gives you a gold star* :Smile:i am sorry that it is long and maybe sounds slightly confused but i would just really like to know what other peoples views are on this please.

thank you very much.

lucy.
x x x

hmmm... sorry i dont realy no what the answer is.... im crap when it comes to guys. i just get angry. lol. it sounds like hes a bit of a flirt so id be careful to jump to any conclusions.... but i duno... maybe hes just realising he actuly likes u.... u never no!!! :) so maybe talk to him about it... get someone else to mention it to him... like ... u n lucy r gettin colse these days.. r summat like dat... yeh im a prat i know. lol. i dunno. maybe just come out n say to him? it sounds like uz r to close to let summatlike that mess up ur friendship anyway... i dunno... let us know how it goes!

take care

xox

fee

Hey there,
I would say personally talk to him about it. That's the only way you're going to actually find out what's going on for sure. I'd just tell him exactly what you've just written in this post.
Hope you get it all cleared up!
xxx

thank you for your replies =))

i am going to try to talk to him,, have spoken to a few other people and gotten some guys opinions on the matter and all have said to talk to him about it... am scared! should be okay thought,, hopefully :blush:

much love.

lucy.
x x x

i hate to leave replys sayign i don't know what to say but as i'vebeen given a starfor readign i'll put my drible down.

the getting a 3rd part to ask is a great idea this way you find out out his social stand on it, it may also give you more info to use if you choose to sit down and talk to him.
it may be that he has nothing but platonic feelings you. i'm not a touchy feeling guy in the slightest but me and my feel best friend uset to sleep in the same bed and cuddle we just felt confortable around each other. it sounds like you and matt have the same kind of friendship. although i feel it is for the best you decided to talk to him friendships workbestwhen you know where you stand hope my drible was of the slightest help. hope it goes okay. let us know the outcome

I think you should ask him, its the only surefire way to know what he feels, and maybe you could mould it into a conversation about how much you like him and used to have feelings for him. sorry this may be crap. :S take care though xoxox

Talking to him about it would probably be a good idea, especially if he's known to be a touchy-feely type as it might just be friendly.
I had a similar thing happen to me. Actually almost the exact same thing. Well he was touchy feely to and me being me jumped to the wrong conclusion and thought he liked me. Long story short he only liked me as a friend and I, sadly, found out the hard way.
The moral of that story is, ask them before you try anything. If he only likes you as a friend fair doos and keep boing friends. And if it's more then wahey.
=]
I think that made sense anyway hehe.
*hugs*

Talking to him is your best bet.

From personal experience, though, touchy feely guys generally tend to be testing your reactions to them touching you. Starting out small and if you push them away either staying small/innocent or stopping all together. If you react well and tend to be flirty back they move further and see how much they can get away with to either see what they can get from you or just to play games.

It's happened to me quite a few times. One of the guys was a friend I had for years, was always touchy feely to some extent, with petting (literal) and would try to hold hands but always seemed stupidly innocent. Then one night he told me he wanted to sleep with me and kept getting too close. We're no longer friends.

Another guy I ended up having a physical relationship with. He spent a month testing me to see how I would react, starting out by rubbing my leg, moving up my leg, "accidentally" touching my butt...

I'm not saying all guys are like this, but from personal experience, with more than just those two, it tends to work out like that. I can't say I've ever had something not end up like that.

I think it's also worth bearing in mind that guys are VERY crap indeed, and really useless when it comes to emotional stuff. Talk to him!!!

^^ that made me giggle ChrisG *nods* hehee

thank you all very much for your replies,, i have ben texting him saying that i want to talk to him. eeeep! here it goes...

lucy.
x x x