Medication, medication fed up of medication
 

I've been on Risperidone (can't remember the dose, it was too long ago) then Amisulpride 700mg/day, then Olanzapine 10mg/day, and now Abilify 15mg/day.

Risperidone made me far too tired, so I went off it.
Amisulpride... I ended up on section 2 when I was taking that - it didn't work.
Olanzapine made me a zombie and I refused to take it so they changed my meds.
Abilify has almost no side-effects with me, but every week I'm getting worse and worse.

I ended up in A&E last Thursday for an OD, I'm seeing things, I'm heraing things. People are in my head and watching my every move. I'm talking to the people in my head. I'm socially withdrawing. My emotions have been stolen. I've been listening to the same song for the past 2 days.

And my doctor thinks I'm under a bit of stress and that it will get better after my exams.

I won't be able to do my exams at this rate.

I want to get into Cambridge.

Are you taking anything for anxiety?

I've tried things in the past, but they're usually addictive and I had to stop them.

It is near impossible getting anything from my doctor. I had to beg him for the Abilify after I relapsed when I went off my meds.

Hun, I've just said this in your other thread, but I think you should get a second opinion. You're entitled to one, and this doctor just doesn't seem to be listening, you've tried really hard and you've done a lot of work.

Tbh mate, I'm being totally frank, I don't want to upset you, I'm just going to tell you my experience. I'm at uni in the UK, I wish I'd taken a year out to sort my head out, I'm having to take time off now it's getting so bad, all the huge lectures full of people, deadlines and constant pressure is way too much for me, I can't handle it. It's awesome that you're aiming for Cambridge and I really hope you get in. I'm honestly not trying to put you off - you want cambridge then ****ing go for it mate because it truly is an amazing uni, but perhaps your health should come first? Give it some thought at least. Maybe take a break and try to get your head in order then throw everything you have at cambridge and a level exams? Because you can defer entry etc in order to have some time out. Like I said please don't take this the wrong way, I'm just trying to give some advice before you make the same mistake I did. :)

And btw I hate the medication too, it makes me sleepy and out of it, it doesn't help, if anything it makes me worse.

How do I ask for a second opinion? Do I have to ask Dr. Grant? Or can I go to my GP and complain to her, because I know my GP well.
Thank you Roby you're great; I wouldn't be far without you.

If I can get this **** over with by the Easter holidays that will be good, because Easter holidays are a) holidays (I usually get stressed out during holidays because I don't have contact with the usual extensive support I have at school) and b) a revision period for my mocks and A-levels.

I will try.

I'm going to school tomorrow and I think the school psychologist is coming on Tuesday. I'm going to yell my opinions at her if I have to, just to get someone to take action for once, not just saying "it will all be alright in the end" as they always do.

To answer your question - yes your GP would be the person to speak to about a second opinion, they can refer you to another psychiatrist who may (or may not) take over your care after wards.

And everyone has a right to a second opinion.

x

This may happen soon. My GP is unreliable with appts though. I nearly ran away/OD-ed today. This is getting too much. My deputy headteacher wants to call the crisis team, but they don't open until 5pm. We're trying to avoid Dr. G.

I saw in your other thread that you were worried that quetiapine would be really sedating, i take it and while it helps me sleep at night i feel ok in the day. When i first started taking it i felt a bit dopey but that effect wore off after a couple of weeks.
Everyone is right, you are entitled to a second opinion, especially if you are struggling so much. I hope you managed to speak to the crisis team and are keeping safe.
*hugs*
Jo x

was just going to say the same about quetiapine, it is not sedating during the day but it is helpful at night :)

Take care x

Perhaps you are right.
But when I called the crisis team, they didn't answer. The deputy head called Dr. G after hours, and he was still in his office, so I had to talk to him. We had a serious conversation and he actually sounded like he cared. He sounded worried and talked of me "getting better" and such things. I had to promise him to not do anything stupid again. But after the call, I realised that I can get through this.
I started to utilise my coping skills as much as possible. With my own willpower, and with a lot of strength, I am fighting it. I am really fighting it. Slowly. The voices and hallucinations have not gone, but I do the following:
- When the voices come and I am by myself, I go to a place where there are people around (I am dangerous alone in this situation), and I either talk about it to someone I know, or I listen to loud music to drown them out.
- If the voices come and I'm in a class, to prevent myself from running out of the classroom (which I do do sometimes), I try to concentrate on every single word the teacher says, as if every word she says means life or death to me. The harder I concentrate, the less I can concentrate on the voices, and they eventually go away. Well, after about half an hour. It is very taxing on me to do this, but it sometimes works.
- If the hallucinations come, I know that they do not last for longer than ten minutes, so I look at something that I know is real. I try not to show any signs of distress, but if I am with someone who knows me well, I talk to that person about it. I try hard to tell myself "its not real and it will go away".

I also use other coping skills for other things, but the list would be too long.

All of these things are really taxing on my concentration and brain, and it saps so much energy from me, but I know that it is helping me. My ability to concentrate on my work has improved, and I am feeling a bit less paranoid, although travelling to school on the underground is still difficult, but I continue doing it every day so that I can beat it.

Bit by bit, I am killing Schizophrenia in my head. I know that it will never 100% go away, but I know that it can 80% go away.

Thank you all for your help.

I think I am dragging myself out of the black hole, slowly.