Loosing the battle
 

I have'nt SH for 4 months now and its really getting to me. My cat scratched me the other day and it bled like crazy, i just stopped and watched the blood dripping from hand, it was soo wierd, i just froze and realised how much i miss SH-ing. am i mad? i felt soo much better after my cat had cut me, i had been feeling really stressed and tensed up for like the past 4 months and then all of a sudden i felt me again, (well the selfharming me i was) does anyone understand or am i just loosing it? I found my box of blades the other day and i decided i was going to throw them a river and be done with SH but now after the cat episode im rethinking, im not sure im ready to give up SH i know i have to if i want to pass the medical examination at uni in a couple of weeks, its soo hard to explain what i mean, i swear im loosing it, :crying:

X

you aren't losing it. i promise you that.
congrats on 4 months...you have just proved to yourself that you can live without SH, you don't need it any more.
your cat scratching you was just your past coming to remind you of well your past i guess.

yeh you will miss SH becuase its such a big part of our lives but its in the past. keep moving forward, don't hang on to the blades. you made the decision to throw them away because you don't need them any more.

its hard, but you are stronger.

keep fighting it and do what is best for you.
keep posting, always here xx

thats normal, its like with alcoholics, one slip and theyre back. You've been so strong so far. 4 months is an amazing achievement and it should prove to you that you can do anything now. Please stick to throwing those blades away, it will make stopping seem more final and even though it may be hard, this can only make you stronger.
Good luck and you can always message me if you ever need it.
xxx

i understand , but u have proved to urself already that u r stronger now and u can do it and u can give up SH forever i believe in you chick
hugsx

Congratulations on getting so far. Also i certainly dont think your mad i do exactly the same thing sometimes and feel like that. Its just a part of recovery, leaving the person you were with all those bad feelings and moving forward. you've shown great sttrength already.

Phoenix xxx