Why are friends sometimes so awful :(
 

Why do your closest friends seem to drift away when they find a partner?? When you call them, they are never free and when you do hear from them, they are either in trouble or because they have nothing better to do or need something like a favour.

It would be nice once in a while for them to suddenly out of the blue just send a nice message or pop in to see you. Why is it that I have to make the effort each time!?

It's so disconcerting.

I've not heard from a particular friend of mine since Christmas. He has changed ever since me met his new fiance, I never hear from him anymore. The same thing happened to my best friend a few years ago, I hear from him maybe once every 6 months. :notsure: Oh well !

Maybe they weren't as good friends as you thought? It happens though. People can sometimes see that person and that person only because they feel so much for them. Sometimes I guess it's hard to see past the love they might have for the person.. I guess it depensd on the person though.
I think a balance is very important between friends and "lovers". Because whereas partners can come and go, good friends will always be there..
Yeh.

Well, one of them I went to school with, and the other I met when I was around 14, we are all in our 30's now so there's no real excuse other than like you say they just didn't really think much of me to be that much of an important friend. It's difficult to find a good friend these days really, everybody seems to be out for themselves and that hurts, friends are very important, however, it seems to go out of the window once those people "meet" someone.

it is rather annoying. pretty much all of my friends have partners and never really have time for me. i guess i will have to make new friends =(

I didn't say anything like they didn't see you as that much of an important friend.. :|
But sometimes when people do get to that age, goals in their head can become different, and life may become more about marriage and families rather than friends. From stories i've heard, many people who do end up doing this do regret it later in life with the lesser amount of friends they now have.

Oh totally agree Pyro, the thing is making new friends I don't find a problem with, it's meeting the right friends that's difficult. I can generally tell if I could trust that person within about 10 minutes, for example, if I have something on my mind I can tell by their attitude if they would be someone I would feel comfortable in talking to. I love banter, it's fun and it makes the time go by, however, there is only so much of that you can do, there is also a real life out there and unfortunately people seem to not take people seriously sometimes. I have many "friends" at work, but I wouldn't class any of them as a person I could talk about stuff with, for example, if I am feeling down or something is worrying me, I couldn't see them being that kind of person to tell, the boundary stops at just knowing them for having a laugh, but that's not what I want, I have hundreds of friends like that, but I don't have many close friends anymore, they are slowly fading away.

it is a pain in the butt.

Oooo ! I know you didn't , I guess I was just thinking out loud! I didn't mean to make it sound that way.

You are right, peoples proprities do change, but to completely dissapear is just a bit hurtful. I don't expect to hear from them once a week even, just now and again a call or text to say "alright matey, hows it going, fancy a drink sometime"??

Oh I know how this is. My best friend found a new b/f at college and I can't remember the last time just the two of us went out together. Don't get me wrong, i'm happy she's got a guy who treats her right, but when she gets in a bad mood because she's not seeing him that night, that's slightly annoying.
*Hugs to you because I know how annoying it is*
xx

Thank you for the hugs Lanny, that's really nice of you.

No problems =) If you need to talk, i'm only a PM away. I hope things sort themselves out soon. xx

Finding a true friend is always hard. Your true friends always make time for you. I have a friend that i've been close to since we were 8 years old and we are 23 now. We go through periods where we get busy and dont get to talk as much. But whats great is it ould be two hours or two years since we last talked and we always seem to pick up where we left off. I know i could call her if I ever needed her.

Maybe you could talk to him...like explain that you still need him around sometimes?

Good luck, hun

*hugs* i know how u feel, my friend just seems only bothered about her partner.. she admitted she don't see no point spending time with anyone unless its with him!
I guess it's the being 'in love' thing, whatever love is? Guess in time things might change, but yeah best thing to do is spending time with different friends. Hard tho cuz we were pretty close =[.
xx

I agree.
It happens, it sucks.
I've yet to find a solution.
Let me know if you find one? (Y)

Maybe your wrong???
 

*metaphorically stroking beard*

Instead of looking at it as they think less of you -why don't you think of it as they think of someone else equally or more than you. Their thoughts and feelings may not have changed.

Is it that they've not always been a true friend or that they know you now? While things and people are changing, the curiosity that is in human nature is still feeding off you.

Once all is discussed and everything learnt. What is left to find and say?


When with a new love, new emotions are probably been found and they are probably still learning about each other. Overcoming every day hassles and continually strengthening their bonds together!

You say they're in their 30s, well do they have kids? If so, they're probably worrying about them. If not, they're probably making final decisions whether to have kids or not!!! There are probably lots of everyday issues which they're worried or thinking about.

Once at the top of a mountain, there's only one way to go. The same can be said for friendships. Having nothing to do with them for a while can also be beneficial. Socialise with new people and learn new things, leave it a while and start socialising with them again. Effectively hitting reset on your friendships. It doesn't work for everyone but occasionally works for me.

You say 'these days', but is it that everyone has a pessimistic view of present day society and so react differently? Surely, adults complained and had ago about 'these days' when you were younger? It's just a typically British thing of today is worse than yesterday. Personally, i believe tomorrow will be better than today. But what the hey!!!

Soz, I don't normally post threads or anything (apart from jokes :-D); so i don't know if you understand what i'm getting at or if my waffling (greatest word ever) is to any help, once i start answering questiosn and thinking about things, i dont stop LOL.