I kept going..until now.
 

1 year, 1 month and 21 days, all down the drain. I gave in, i found the blade again.
I don't want to keep up this cycle.
I don't want to carry on, at all.
I hate myself.
Its too hard now.
The world is gobbling me up, and i'm gonna be swallowed, forever.

I'm not particularly sure why I'm posting this, I'm not good at it. Sorry for wasting space.

You aren't wasting space hun *offers you gentle hugs*. You are doing so well with recovery, this does not have to mean the end of it. It can just be a slip up and those are part of the recovery process. We won't let you be gobbled up. xx

Your time has not gone down the drain. You've learned a lot in the last year. You haven't lost that. You've just slipped and fallen and have to get up again.
Forgive yourself and be good to yourself.
*gives you a caring hug*

^ agrees with the others
silly silly nonsense, saying that you are a waste of space and that all of your proud accomplishments and progress have gone down the drain
that is absolutely not true honey!!
recovery is a process, it isn't something that people can just do cold-turkey because if that were the case, RYL would not exist and we would all be recovered and therapists would be going out of business!
you are still the same strong person who was able to go 1 year 1 month and 21 days!!!
know what i say? i say that you start counting tomorrow and make tomorrow day 22 of 1 year 1 month and 22 days

AW hony I know how you feel, but its not all down the drain, that 1 year, 1month and 21 days is immense, its amazing, and it shows how much of a strong person you are, dont forget that hun. Its a slip up hun, but dont let it drag you down, forgive yourself, and take care
Im always here if you want to talk,
Love Lora xx

i agree with everyone else.
please dont beat yourself up over this.
and dont give up now......youve come too far.
give yourself credit for what you DID accomplish....which is a whole lot!!!!
much love.
xxxxxxxxxx

I totally agree with everyone else. It's just a minor slip up in the graeter scheme of things. Don't let it get you down any more.

*gives you a great big hug*

Goodness, I'm crying after all your replies, I didnt think anyone would! You're all so nice, but I can't help but feel such a huge sense of failure. I feel like I've let all my friends down. Thanks for replying xxx

you are not a failure and you have not let anybody down at all!!!!
you don't owe anybody anything - the only person you owe something is YOURSELF and you owe it to yourself to see this as the learning experience that it was and to not let it get you down and make you forget all the progress you have made!!!
you made it over a year and you still have that accomplishment to carry with you!!!!
just the fact that you regret SI'ing and can see it for the negative thing in your life that it was shows that you are very far along the road of recovery so please remember that honey
take care - you are so inspiring

I agree with everyone else, it's just a slip up, just forget about it and carry on. Don't dwell on it hun xxx