whats happening to me?? (trig)
 

I have no idea whats going on. I am still able to get up and do normal things, socialise and shop and clean and go to uni and placement. Yet tonight, like a couple of nights ago I wanted to see what it would feel like to hang myself. I wasnt intending to actually do it but i gave it a go, just for a few seconds to see what it would feel like. All day i think about killing myself and I have no idea why. Im scared about what I might do since I dont even really feel depressed, I just have a strange fixation on hurting myself. I dont know what to do... I dont care that much about if I did die by accident or something but I wouldnt say i feel particularly suicidal or anything. I cant figure it out..

hi there....

im sorry youre having these thoughts.
im wondering if youre seeing a doc for meds or even a therapist?
if not....i think it might help.
other than that...im not sure.
much much love.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

thanks, yeah im on meds and the last time i saw the doc i was feeling great and we even talked about reducing the meds but over the last week ive just suddenly started having all these stupid thoughts. I dont even feel depressed, I feel normal a lot of the time but for some reason I cant stop thinking about ways of killing myself, im worried how far i'll go, its so stupid really...

no hun......it isnt stupid at all.
all feelings are valid.
maybe you should call your doc and schedule an early appt. to speak with him/her about it.
much love.
xxxxxxxxxx

I understand. When I saw my psych for therapy and meds on Monday 11th, I was okay. Then by Friday I was a mess.

I've been thinking of new ways to self harm. I've gotten a couple of sarcastic comments from "normie" friends too.

Please go see your doctor/therapist. If you're thinking about doing these things, maybe he/she can help you figure out why.

*gives you a cherishing hug*
Susan

Ah, interesting. Same thing happened to me about a month ago, except I wanted to jump out of a window or feel what it would be like to disappear...but none of this struck me as a result of a particularly suicidal thought. I guess I'm not helping too much, but I just wanted to tell you that you're not alone in this strange thinking. Many of these thoughts disappeared when I quit taking an antidepressant...but then again that withdrawal seriously sucked.
Take care of yourself...no hurting yourself please.
xoxoxoxoxoxo

D'Arcy

hey how are you doing now? it isn't stupid at all
i have had really random and intrusive thoughts like that - for me (umm i hope this isnt tip sharing since i didnt do it? i dunno) it was what it would be like to leap out of a moving car and seriously the thought just came out of nowhere and wouldn't go away! it was quite scary
you should really share it with your doc though. i dont know how long you have been on the meds or if you have in fact changed amounts but it could be some side effect that they may want to know about, but even if not they will still want to know so that they can know best how to treat you
i hope you are safe and okay
check in with us when you can?