x
 

i give up i quit nothing left i hate myself i dont deserve to live anymore

Please don't give up. Please don't quit.
You certainly do deserve to live. And even if you don't believe it yourself, will you trust us and let us believe it for you until you can find it your self to live and to deserve to live?
Hugs

please call someone.
please distract yourself in some way.
please dont do what youre talking of.
much much love.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I dont know you, but I really hope you are okay! *hugs*

please dont give up
you do deserve to live you have been wonderful to me
that makes you a really nice person
try distract yourself or call someone

i couldn't get out of bed on friday i had to call out of work. the first thing i didwhen i got up friday night is cut myself it wasn't deep enough ther wasn't enough blood i just want to do it again i can't stop thinking about it. i felt so good after i did it i just sat in my room laughing but it still wasn't enough. i can't fight this anymore.

But you are a fighter! And you are a strong and wonderful person! I know how difficult it is to resist the urges but try to hang in there. I know it sounds trite but things will get better.
Much love
Pam xxx

You need distractions!
LALALALALALALALALALALALALALA!!!!
Okay, that's all I've got.
But really, I know you can get through this. Keep powering through and you'll make it. Sucks so much though, I know.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

D'Arcy

thank you everyone for trying to help me.im trying to get though this but it just gets harder i have barely slept since friday i feel so tired but i can't sleep i feel like i'm losing my mind i keep thinking about hurting myself or killing myself the thoughts won't stop.i have about three hours until i have to go to work and act like i'm fine and nothings wrong. at least it will be eight hours of distractions. i wish these feelings and thoughts would go away. i wish i would go away.

don't go away that would suck
you're doing the right thing thinking of distractions
maybe make a list of things you can do like laundry or cleaning or writing or come on here and talk to people - chat is always on if the boards are quiet
it sounds like you really need some help because you clearly feel like crap and you deserve to feel better
do you have a doc that you see? a therapist or something? if so call them. or call a friend/family member or something
you shouldn't be alone
if you dont have a safe person to call and you feel like you want to do something really drastic, call a crisis line like rachel said or go to the er and tell them and they will help you

by the way as a total side note i could totally relate to what you said about cutting and then laughing in your room afterward and i want to thank you SO MUCH for writing that because i thought i was the only one who ever laughed at really inappropriate times like that and it makes me feel better to know that i am not the only one who has ever done that so thanks! that was probably a weird thing to say but hey whatever at least i maybe distracted you for a few more seconds right? lol ;)

be safe and keep fighting because you are worth fighting for

xxxooo

Callie

i have no one i can talk to only a few people know about my si. the only person outside my family who knows has things going on with her family so i can't talk to her. my family is worried about my brother because he has been in a hospital psych ward since monday.

if your brother is in a psych ward, then i am guessing that your parents have at least some familiarity with mental health issues so they might be more open to helping you than you would think
if the people in your life are not people you are ready to trust with this information yet, how about a crisis line, or your doctor, of if you are in some school a school counsellor? please tell somebody - this isnt the type of secret that is best left alone because over time it gets harder to share and it really eats you up inside and isolates you, trust me
good luck hun

my mom and dad both know but don't care.the last time i tried to talk to her she just walked away.i have no friends to talk to because i stopped talking to all of them years ago. even if i had people to talk to i always feel worse after i talk to them. i have a hard time talking to people i don't know so i know i can't call a crisis line. i want to just give up everything seems so pointless right now things just seem to be getting worse. i keep trying to find help but i have no way to see a doctor i have no insurance and all the medical assistance places i find go by the combined income of the house and we have six people in the house with jobs so we make to much. i just want all this to end i am so sick of living like this i'm always alone because i ruin my friendships people used to try and help me and i couldn't talk tothem about what was wrong now nobody cares. i don't even know if i care anymore

you do care and you should care! you are on here talking to us and that is a first step and a fabulous one! you dont know any of us here, yet you are talking and sharing with us and doing a great job of it - you are really articulate
please give a crisis line a try?
there are always free clinics, too
and chat on here - ryl has chat and there are usually people there even if the boards are quiet
maybe you could talk to somebody at your brother's hospital? they usually have more than just their inpatient wards
are you sure that none of your friends are still around? i ask just because our issues and depression tend to make us optimists who catastrophise things and think the worst and assume that the world and the people in it hate us, even when that is far from the case
could you maybe just call one or two of them and see if they pick up?
please keep fighting - the world wants you in it!
i for one want to see you stick around!!

all of my friends have moved away and even if they were here its been over ten years since i have talked to any of them. i wouldn't know what to say to them.i have been lying to everyone for so long i don't really know how to tell more people and the ones that know whats going on either don't car or have more important things to do. my brother is being sent home tomorrow because he has no insurance to pay for the hospital. i don't know how i feel about him coming home. i feel so bad right now and i have never had these feelings last this long i don't know what to do anymore.

you absolutely know what you need to do
you need to talk to somebody, and that is why you are taking the first step, a really great step, of reaching out here on ryl and talking to us
(yayayayay go you for doing that by the way!!)
if you friends are far away, then please talk to your family
just give it a try, yeah? there isn't a rule or anything that only one brother in a family can be ill and deserve help at a time
or, if that fails for whatever reason, call a crisis line or call your doctor or something
as i said earlier, what about the hospital where your brother was? they must have psychologists and lots of programs
just tell them that you have been suicidal for a few days and it is getting better and not worse and you fear for your safety and they will help you
please do this you need help and you deserve help