Compleately and utterly defeated...
 

Damnit all to hell...

I'm so tired of all this...
I'm so tired of feeling awful...
I'm so tired of nothing helping(not even the cutting that worked before)...
I'm so tired of being a f*ck up (which just ultimatly makes things worse)...
I'm so tired of nothing going right...
I'm so tired of wanting to die...
I'm so tired of not being able to do it...
I'm so tired of putting other peoples feelings first (the big reason I can't kill myself)...
I'm just so tired...

And I'm defeated...

Sorry I haven't been of any support lately... I guess I'm tired of being of no help as well...

Dear sweet RYL Daughter Alyssa,
*curls you up into a safe loving cuddle*

I wish I knew how to tell you that in time it will turn around. Put aside the SI if it isn't helping you.
Accept and use the tools that are being handed to you. Counseling. Those of us who've been where you are. It doesn't matter if you're not being helpful. You're talking to us and you're one of the community and we all talk and listen at different times and that's okay.

I've had depression since I was a small child. I know how bad it is. I know how it makes everything impossible. I could tell you stories about my childhood and teen years that would gag a maggot.

You're not a mess up. You don't deserve to die. You're doing something right by reaching out for help. Let us help you as you've helped us.

Get some sleep. Give yourself permission to rest. Take care of yourself. Please keep talking to us. Let us know you're still here!

From your RYL Mom who loves you no matter what!
Love, Susan

oh Ally,
you have given me a tremendous amount of support.
im so sorry youre feeling so down.
and i dont have any words to help.
*gentle snuggles*
love you.
xxxxxxxx

huge hugs for you
you are such a good person and you deserve lots of good things
miss you xxxooo