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-   -   I'm not quite sure what to do. (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3490)

Hannah_x 10-06-2007 05:34 PM

I'm not quite sure what to do.
 
Well basically I have a very complicated relationship problem

My ex asked me out again last weekend and I haven't given him an answer as of yet, and I honestly haven't a clue what to say.

Basically we were together for about six months, from last March till the end of August. A couple of weeks into that, he made out with my best friend (I know, it really started well didn't it . . .) but I didn't break up with him because he gave all the usual lark about it meaning nothing and all that jazz.

Anyway, after that everything was all pretty much idyllic, he knows me inside out and has been pretty much the most supportive person about my SI and family problems, but we eventually broke up because he did something to break my trust again so i felt I had to end it.

A while after that we had an argument and didn't talk for a while, during which time he confided in his school nurse that he was worried about me and got her to ring up my school about the SI which I guess kind of paved the way for me starting to get better; just before my family found out we started talking again, and he helped me through that amazingly well.

But through it all I guess I've always loved him and he says the same, but I'm not sure whether it's a good idea to get back together with him again. Apart from the period when we weren't talking, we've always been amazingly close because we know each other so well. People who knew us as a couple have all said that I should simply because we were "the perfect couple" and we were both a lot happier back then. But people who didn't know us as a couple have brought up the obvious question of trust.

ANYWAY, sorry about the long post, but advice would be handy (:

x

tears before bedtime 10-06-2007 05:49 PM

hi hannah
personally i don't think it would be a great idea getting back into a relationship with someone who has broken your trust several times before.
I understand that he has been a wonderful support to you and thats great but it seems to me that you are better off as friends, he can still support you if you're not in a relationship. If you have been with him twice and he has broken your trust twice then thats saying something in itself.
I think that if you take him back again he may feel that he can once again break the trust you have for him because he knows you will take him back again.
Thats only my personal opinion and obviously you have to make your mind up but i hope i helped out a little.
Pm me if you ever want a chat
xxx

charcoal feathers 10-06-2007 05:51 PM

I'm prolly not the best person to offer advice on relationships at the moment.
but i will say, go with your heart, do what you feel is best.
Do you trust him at all? because if there's no trust there's no point in having a relationship, because it wont work.

If things are meant to be with you too, then it'll work out one way or another. But maybe you too are better off as friends. You can both support each other that way and you're less likely to get hurt. But like i said before, go with your heart, do what you feel is right.

Take care
x

Isoverity 10-06-2007 08:10 PM

You know that olde saying "fool me once and shame on you - fool me twice and shame on me". He sounds immature and selfish tbh.

raistlin 11-06-2007 05:34 AM

If you are questioning whether you want to have another relationship with him, you're answer should probably be a no. If you don't want to go with that, just let him know that you are not ready yet and would like to continue a friendship and see where it goes from there. If he doesn't want to wait for you, he is probably not worth it. In the mean time, keep your eyes open for someone better.
Good luck! :)


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