Is This Wierd?
 

Is it wierd that I want to go into my clinic as an inpatient? its just that I don't feel safe sometimes and I want to get away and I want some people to take me seriously. Last night I just sat and cried for ages, I want to die so badly, it used to be that I didn't want to die, I just wanted to get away from the feelings. But now, I just want to leave because when and if I do get better,all of those memories of me being like this will never leave. I'm seeing my psychotherapist tommorow, I want to stay in there to get away from things and clear my head, plus I'm becoming a danger to myself again...Is this wierd?
Please someone help, I really don't know what to do...

It deffo aint wierd, you know what I think but I'll say it again hun... I think it's a big step admitting that you need proper treatment and help. Don't be ashamed to ask for it because that is the only way you will get it.

I'm sorry you're feeling so rubbish atm *hugs*
Nope, thats definitely not weird at all. If you're feeling like a danger to yourself its completely normal to want to be put somewhere where you can't hurt yourself and you can be looked after. If you think that this might help you, mention it. If it helps, i'm feeling the same- i just want to be put somewhere safe until i can get back under control and sort this thing out- you're not on you're own.
Please take care, PM me if you want a chat
xxxxxx
by the way, where abouts i berkshire are you :P?

Bracknell!

its not weird at all hunny.
its great that you know when your not safe.
maybe you could talk about it tomorrow.

hey Queer Fringe, it's not weird at all. In fact it is probably a good thing that your are being so responsible about your health. Ironically I live on Temple Park in Bracknell/Binfield near Blue Mountain and yet know nothing about treatment in that area since always been treated at uni. I hope things get better for you soon xx

I've felt like that too sometimes, like I can get really suicidal at times but I fight it and I know that I need to find a safe place to help me do that. I really think I would book myself in to the local psychiatric hospital before I tried to kill myself again.

I think it's totally logical when you realise there's two desires in you in conflict, one to live and one to die.

Helen

I don't think its weird. I know some people hate the idea of hospital, but sometimes when I'm feeling very very low (e.g planning suicide, cutting every minute of the day, non stop crying)

I just desperatly want sombody to acknowledge that I'm *seriously* a danger to myself and that I need *proper* help. That is 24 watch lol
I just think that I need to go somwhere safe where sombody is finally recognising that I'm not ok.

In fact I get very frustrated with the mental health services here
I understand that they want to keep people out of hospital if they can help it, but it really pisses me off somtimes when I think about how *desperate* and close I am to suicide yet when I confide this in my CMHT they say..
why don't you distract yourself by reading a book?

grrrr. I think its actually incredibly hard to get admitted into hospital,
I was left to the point where I was hearing voices and wondering into traffic before they admitted me. And even then I had to beg the doctor in A+E. Really annoys me to think about it.

erm...I've rambled, what was I saying?
Oh yeah, totally understand where your coming from!
I think with me it's partly out of a need to keep myself safe, partly to give my mind/body a rest and partly to have people acknowledge how bad this all is .........

Same! I feel excactly the same.

I feel exactly like you do, its not weird. I agreed to come into hospital and it was the hardest thing but i like to think its taking some responsibility for your own safety and if you need to do it then its really worth discussing it with your dr/therapist. Just tell them in the same way you have explained it here, i thought it made a lot of sense.
Good luck with it xx