I'm so very tired!
 

I can't remember the last time I felt well, I can't remember what it feels like, I don't know if I'd know it if I felt it again.

I feel like my body wantS to just shut down, like it's had enough and just wants to sleep for a thousand years. What bliss that would be!

I keep fighting but I don't have the strength anymore. I don't want to feel this way anymore. I keep thinking about cutting again but I know that's not a solution, I know it'd end up just being another problem I'd have to deal with. More crap to pile on top of the rest.

So then I think about how I can end it, I keep thinking how I could cut my wrists and just lay here while the end comes. How I could overdose and just fall asleep.

I know I have to get help now, but I'm scared. When I go see my GP what will he do? I'm worried he'll just put me on some meds and then I'll have these pills at my disposal and I'm worried what I might do with them when I get low.

I just want to stop feeling this way. How do I make this end?! When will it stop!!?? I don't want to be in pain anymore, I'm so desperate, please someone, tell me how I can stop the agony!

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Im so sorry to hear your in such pain. I can relate to how you are feeling, i feel the same way. It's so painful and you feel like there is no way out, you just want it to end. Babe, go and see your GP. He/she can help you. If you explain how you are feeling, explain how difficult is, but maybe even express your concerns about taking tabs. Going to the GP will be a very positive step forward. I hope your ok. If you ever need to talk feel free to PM me anytime. Please take care of yourself and if it helps keep posting.
You can do this.
x x x

Going to the GP will not solve anything, but it's one step forward and it can't hurt.
I can only advise you to sit down and make a list of things that you feel don't work in your life. I know this feeling seems overwhelming and that everything seems wrong, but that's not true. Make a list of the things that actually aren't so bad and of the ones that are, you'll see your situation is not that desperate.
Then you can work on each point at your own pace, trying to fix everything at the same time is the best way to fail.
I think you need to find hobbies, ways to relax. Start a sport or something. Avoid times when you just sit there and think, those are the worst. *nods* See your friends, go out, create something, play games.

These are just practical little tips, but they've helped me loads. Keeping busy and productive is really helpful.
Take care, keep posting, PM someone if you need to. :)