excuse me while I scream and throw things
 

I went back to the PMS clinic today.

And didn't see anyone.

Due to an mistake by one of the nurses, putting my file with the wrong Dr.

I waited there 2 hours to find out this mistake.

The other consultant called the consultant I was meant to see back, and arranged for me to go back. Next Monday afternoon. At 2pm. He made me the first appointment of the afternoon.

I hardly slept last night due to anxiety and period cramps. I'm also feeling depressed and low, and my anxiety was high, my blood pressure tested high even before the whole fiasco of my time there.

This morning I went to therapy, then to work for an hour and 45 minutes, then to Paddington. I arrived at 3.50, and left at 5.40, not having seen anyone.
It takes an hour from work to Paddington.
I am exhausted.
I felt like crying when I sat in the waiting room.
I wanted to hurt myself coming home on the bus. I felt so frustrated and annoyed and angry and upset.
But I phoned my parents and spoke to my mum instead.
Then I vented to my flatmates when I got home.

Katie is out of action for this evening, and is going to bed early and be sedated.

And Katie needs moral support and hugs.
Please.
Thanks.

P.S. Do you think I have grounds for complaint?
You see, if I'd spoken up earlier it might have been avoided. But I didn't think to check my file was properly filed. Plus I was feeling pretty awful physically and emotionally.
I'm speaking with my GP on Friday, see what she thinks.
I don't want to go back there after next Monday. If they hadn't sorted things I wouldn't have gone back at all. I can't be dealing with the extra stress, plus time off work and so forth.
Hell, I'd rather have PMS than hang out in Paddington of a Monday afternoon and get no treatment!

*sends lots of moral support and hugs*

I hope you have a good evening and a good rest and *Definitely* complain.

Becca

I hope you get some rest tonight, it sounds awful. I spent the day on the phone chasing up a referal letter that my doc should have sent to the hospital. It still isn't resolved.

I hope if you go back next week, you get a better result.

Look after yourself XXX

*hugs* that's awful! I would complain if I was you, I don't think you can be to blame for their misfiling. Hope you feel better soon x

That sounds so frustrating.

If you can, call on Friday or Monday morning to confirm your appointment.

Hugs

Thank you.

I'm just feeling really depressed today. And anxious, if my heartrate is anything to go by.

Never having had a relationship, and coming to the end of my optimally fertile years, it was also distressing for me to be surrounded by couples attending the Infertility Clinic that was running at the same time. I have a lot of grief and sadness about my eternal partnerlessness and eternal childlessness. And I could really have done without a constant 2 hour reminder of this, to then feel discarded and disregarded.
This is maybe why my head aches and I feel close to tears, but cannot cry.
I really hate my father right now, or rather, I hate what he did to me.

hi Katie...

that does sound horrendous. but i doubt filing a complaint would do any good.

the same kinda thing happened to me a few months ago. sometimes the schedules just get mixed up or someone makes a computer error. i dont think enough grounds for a complaint.

but definitely enough emotional distress on you.

im sorry youre still feeling anxious today.
i would say try and relax but even that sounds silly to me.

will be thinking of you.
much love.
xxxxxxxxx

Thank you both.

I had a very soothing and therapeutic therapy session this afternoon, and I feel much calmer - whilst also accepting that it's totally ok for me to be rather pissed off at what happened on Monday!